Actively Aware

New forensic sketch of recently discovered Unidentified Michigan Woman

2011-07-25T15:42:00.001-04:00

Police release illustrations of face reconstructed from skeletal remains of homicide victim found in Comstock Township
Paula M. Davis | Kalamazoo Gazette

COMSTOCK TOWNSHIP — Seeking leads in a unsolved homicide case, Kalamazoo County Sheriff's Office has released illustrations of a woman's face reconstructed from skeletal remains found in Comstock Township late April.

Police believe the remains are that of a white women, 35 to 55 years old, who died as a result of "blunt-force trauma."

Officials have no leads on the identity of the woman and hope the illustrations, created by the Michigan State University anthropology department, will result in a break in the case, according to Sgt. Bill Sparrow of the sheriff's office.

The remains were found on April 28 in the 8400 block of East ML Avenue.

She is additionally described as being between 5 foot, 4 inches and 5 foot, 8 inches tall.

There are several area woman who are missing but authorities have ruled out Tammie Briley, Mary Lands or Venus Stewart as being this unidentified woman.

The illustrations show the woman's reconstructed face framed in several different hairstyles.

Police ask anyone who may have information to contact the sheriff's office at 269-383-8723 or Silent Observer at 269-343-2100.

Contact Paula M. Davis at pdavis@kalamazoogazette.com or 269-388-8583. You can also follow her on Twitter.

http://mlive.com/advannarbor/pm_103352/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=Lm3zUDIV

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So Hot Outside ... LOL

2011-07-21T19:58:00.000-04:00

How about a little heat wave humor?

Because anythings funny when you're hot enough to literally begin losing your mind ... :)

Share your own hot outside jokes in form of text, video, image, etc below ...

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Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
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Watch the entire Casey Anthony Not Guilty Verdict and Reaction Video Here

2011-07-06T23:29:00.000-04:00

Casey Anthony acquitted of killing daughter Caylee: MyFoxORLANDO.com

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Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
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Post an image or quote here of your favorite peace sayings and/or signs

2011-07-06T14:04:00.001-04:00

"All we are saying is give peace a chance."

~ John Lennon

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"All we are saying is give peace a chance."

~ John Lennon

(Share your favorite peace quotes, peace signs, peace symbols, peace images, peace videos, peace thoughts, peace scripture *you get the peace picture, right?* below as well ... peace out.)
Read more at peace4missing.ning.com

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Baez on the Not Guilty Anthony Verdict

2011-07-05T19:23:00.001-04:00

Casey Anthony's lead attorney speaks to press, says he's happy to tell his daughter that he saved a life.

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Jose Baez comments on the Casey Anthony Not Guilty Verdict

Added by Sara Huizenga on July 5, 2011 at 6:04pm

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See more at peace4missing.ning.com

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Casey Anthony Verdict: Not Guilty of First-Degree Murder

2011-07-05T14:43:00.001-04:00

URL: http://peace4missing.ning.com/forum/topics/casey-anthon...

Casey Anthony was acquitted Tuesday of first-degree murder and the other most serious charges against her in the 2008 death of her 2-year-old daughter.

But the jury convicted Anthony on four conts of providing false information to law enforcement officers.

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Former Classmate sets up Reward for 30 Yrs Missing, Deanie Peters

2011-06-23T23:41:00.002-04:00

Along with Rob Mackey's new reward fund, the Kent County Metro Cold case team continues to offer a $25,000 reward to anybody who chooses to come forward with new information leading to an arrest in this case, and the exact location of where Deanie Peters' remains may be.

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Missing Deanie Peters, New Reward Fund

Added by Sara Huizenga on June 23, 2011 at 11:01pm
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Deanie Peters: WZZM 13 Investigates Facebook Page - http://www.facebook.com/pages/Deanie-Peters-WZZM-13-Investigates/199540380079783

From WZZM - http://www.wzzm13.com/news/article/169542/14/New-effort-launched-to-help-in-search-for-Deanie-Peters

ADA TOWNSHIP, Mich. (WZZM) - More than 30 years after her disappearance, a new effort is underway to help in the search for Deanie Peters.

Deanie vanished in 1981 from Forest Hills Central Middle School.

A former classmate of Deanie's has stepped forward to share his story, and offer a new incentive to solve the case.

Read more at peace4missing.ning.com

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How to Organize a Candlelight Vigil

2011-05-17T17:54:00.000-04:00

Please include your own tips, in particular towards planning a candlelight vigil for missing persons in a comment below ...

Involve help and Get the Word Out: Ask family, friend, co-workers and/or like minded individuals if they'd be interested in volunteering. Develop fliers, posters and a Press Release to display and distribute about the event.

Establish a Venue, Date and Time: Outdoor locations are often nice is the weather is accomadating towards doing since since they are able to hold a large amount of people ... perhaps a park with a shelter. Make sure to reserve the venue in advance and check with concerning any restrictions regarding lighting candles at, etc. Once you've selected a location, choose a date and time - make sure it will be dark enough for the candles to have an impact, but not too late at night that participants of all ages would have trouble attending.

Entertainment: Perhaps a local band could play, develop a slideshow to correspond with the event, check with local art students or organizations regarding possibly displaying some artwork that is relevant to your cause and/or invite relevant organizations to attend and have a "booth" at ...

Prepare a short speech for the event: Prepare (or designate someone else as the speaker) something to say, thanking people for coming, and explaining what the vigil is for and what it represents.

Lighting of the candles: Establish a quiet (silent) environment prior to doing so also try to let the candles burn for maybe five or ten minutes for people to get the full effect. After a few moments of silence, announce again to the people the need for action to be taken. Hopefully, at this point, they will be moved and motivated!

Hand out info for attendees to take with: Whatever is most relevant and beneficial to your cause, include websites, instructions, etc. upon which people can further support your cause after leaving the vigil. Make sure they leave knowing what they can do now to further help.

Additional links providing info on "How to Organize a Candlelight Vigil" ...
http://candles.lovetoknow.com/How_to_Organize_a_Candlelight_Vigil
http://www.dosomething.org/actnow/actionguide/organize-a-candlelight-vigil-your-cause-0
http://candlelight.covenanthouse.org/host/vigil_instructions.php

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Billy's Law - Connects Databases to FIND a Missing Person

2011-05-11T23:07:00.000-04:00

URL: http://peace4missing.ning.com/forum/topics/billys-law-c...

Great article and GREAT Billy's Law Petition Drive Day from our friends at RIT! (You too can sign that petition from anywhere right here - http://www.change.org/petitions/tell-congress-to-pass-billys-law-to...)

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NamUs highlighted at Michigan's Missing Persons Day

2011-05-09T00:47:00.001-04:00

More Than 15,000 Cases in New Database That Matches Missing Persons and Unidentified

Dead Users Number 10,000
WASHINGTON, May 6, 2011 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- The number of cases in the National Missing and Unidentified Persons System's (NamUs) two databases has reached a combined total of more than 15,000 and the number of registered users has grown to 10,000 since NamUs was launched in January 2009. To date, NamUs is credited with resolving 62 of the missing and unidentified person cases in its databases.

"Reaching 15,000 cases illustrates the exponential growth of NamUs," said John Laub, Director of the National Institute of Justice. "In 2009, we doubled the number of missing person cases in the system, and last year we nearly tripled it. This continued growth is critical because with more cases in the system, more cases can be solved and more families can get the resolutions they have been seeking for so long."

NamUs (www.namus.gov) is a national repository for information about missing and unidentified persons. The public may register to search and report information in the missing person database and may search, but not add, information about unidentified persons. Law enforcement officers, coroners and medical examiners and other professionals may register to search and report information to the missing person database and the unidentified persons database. More than two-thirds of the 10,000 registered NamUs users are members of the general public; the balance are death investigation professionals such as coroners, medical examiners and law enforcement officers. The missing persons database contains 7,148 entries and the unidentified persons database has 7,855 records.

The two cases below illustrate how NamUs works.

David Brennesholtz - On March 8, 2008, an unidentified deceased male was found in Clearwater, Fla. The case was entered into NamUs in July 2008. In November 2009, Sue D'Agostino from Islip, New York, learned of NamUs after seeing a public service announcement. D'Agostino and her family had not heard from her brother, David Brennesholtz, for several years and began searching the unidentified side of NamUs.

She came across Unidentified Person Case #2297 and thought the face in the photo could be her brother and contacted the Pinellas County Medical Examiner's office with her inquiry. Family DNA reference samples were taken and the unidentified man in Clearwater was positively identified as D'Agostino's missing brother.

Ronald Norman - On December 8, 1991, Ronald Norman, 42, went missing from the foster care home where he lived in Detroit, Mich. He went for a walk and was never seen again. The following April, two fishermen came across a body floating in Lake Erie. The medical examiner determined the victim's cause of death was drowning. The unidentified man was buried as "John Doe." Then in 2008, Mr. Norman's case was entered into NamUs, and he became Missing Person (MP) case #829.

In 2011, the Michigan State Police began entering their unidentified cases into NamUs, and the unidentified man found in Lake Erie became Unidentified Person (UP) case #8484. As soon as the UP case was entered, the NamUs automated cross-matching feature flagged UP #8484 and MP #829 as a potential match. The two cases had similar features – specifically missing teeth, a skull injury and the type of clothing Mr. Norman wore when he was last seen. The medical examiner ultimately made a positive identification of Ronald Newman. This was the first resolved case as a result of the NamUs automated cross-matching feature.

On Saturday, May 7, 2011, local law enforcement agencies in Detroit, Mich., will highlight NamUs at the Michigan's Missing Persons Day. More information about this event is available by contacting Detective/Trooper Sarah Krebs, Michigan State Police, tel. 313-215-0675, email: krebss@michigan.gov.

The Office of Justice Programs (OJP), headed by Assistant Attorney General Laurie O. Robinson, provides federal leadership in developing the nation's capacity to prevent and control crime, administer justice, and assist victims. OJP has seven bureaus and offices: the Bureau of Justice Assistance; the Bureau of Justice Statistics; the National Institute of Justice; the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention; the Office for Victims of Crime; the Community Capacity Development Office, and the Office of Sex Offender Sentencing, Monitoring, Apprehending, Registering, and Tracking (SMART).

More information about OJP and its components can be found at http://www.ojp.gov.
NIJ11098
Office of Justice Programs (OJP)
(202) 307-0703
www.ojp.gov

SOURCE U.S. Department of Justice - Office of Justice Programs

Please join us at Peace4 the Missing
Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
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Annual Walk for Missing Daughter, Kara Kopestky

2011-05-09T00:07:00.000-04:00

The mother of a missing girl is getting support from the community and other parents on Mother's Day

Posted: 05/07/2011
Last Updated: 1 hour and 8 minutes ago

By: Lisa Benson
Posted by: Mike Markewinski

BELTON, Missouri - Each Mother’s Day gets tougher for Rhonda Beckford.

Back on May 4, 2007, her daughter, Kara Kopestky disappeared.

“It's kind of like a rollercoaster it's got its ups and downs and we've had eight searches,” said Beckford.
The last images of Kopestky were captured from a surveillance camera inside Belton High School.

Despite the extensive searches, including one in South Kansas City, earlier this year and dozens of tips, investigators still do not have any idea what happened to Kara.

On Saturday, dozens of people walked down the streets in Belton in hopes of drumming up more tips that will help find Kara.

The annual walk serves as a reminder for the day she disappeared.
Read more about the Kara Kopestky case.

“It's amazing to have all these people show up for years later. There still hoping and searching right along with us. We know we're not alone and that helps us,” said Beckford.

She said that her faith has helped keep her going.

One person who understands what Beckford is going through is Greg Smith.

Read more about the Kelsey Smith case.

His daughter Kelsey, 18, was killed in May 2007 after she was abducted from an Overland Park Target store near her home. Authorities eventually used the ping information to determine where her cell phone had traveled in the hours after her disappearance and found her body in a wooded area of Longview Lake four days after her disappearance.

Edwin R. Hall, of Olathe, has since pleaded guilty to her abduction, rape and murder and is serving a life sentence in a Kansas penitentiary.

Smith said he can still feel when people pray for the family. He said “it is a palpable feeling for us.”
Smith hopes similar prayers will help Beckford find her daughter.

There is an $80,000 reward for the person who helps find Kara.

Source: http://www.nbcactionnews.com/dpp/news/crime/the-mother-of-a-missing-girl-is-getting-support-from-the-community-and-other-parents-on-mother%27s-day

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Please join us on ... Peace4 the Missing
http://peace4missing.ning.com

Virtual Jesus - God Works Online

2011-04-15T00:21:00.000-04:00

God is not "offline limited" -

He is rather so much very far from ...

For it is He who is strategically guiding us online precisely to those we most are in need of connecting with.

It is He directing us towards the ones most specifically in need of the very something we may have to offer to them.

And only He is the true director behind the directly in our sight placement of the messages we most long to hear.

God is with us ALWAYS ... "even" online ....

Perhaps even at times - the most online ... <3

Please join us at Peace4 the Missing

Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network

http://peace4missing.ning.com

Rachel Conger - Missing 3 Years Today

2011-03-13T03:10:00.001-04:00

URL: http://peace4missing.ning.com/profiles/blogs/3-years-si...

It was 3 years ago today that the "Momma" of Amber Simmons was last seen.

Amber's Mom, Rachel Conger, should be every part of a part of being able to firsthand watch and experience the many life changing moments of her now teenager daughter, Amber.

But instead, Rachel Conger is technically classified as a missing person, her stolen from us life has now become NamUs Missing Person Profile #5106.

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/bu3k7

Michigan's First Ever Missing Person Day

2011-03-04T18:21:00.001-05:00

Come celebrate the first Missing Persons Day in Michigan Event- a public event open to families of missing persons and the communities that continue to support them. May 7th, 2011 at Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan.

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Attention Michigan Families with Missing Loved Ones

Posted by Sara Huizenga on March 4, 2011 at 6:14pm in PEACE4 THE MISSING UPDATES/ACTIVITY (Change )

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Michigan will be having it's very first Missing Persons Day this May 7th at Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan!

Saturday, May 7 · 4:00pm - 9:00pm

Location
Ford Field, Detroit Michigan

	Location	Ford Field, Detroit Michigan

This event has been originated by my fellow NamUs Team Michigan member and now friend, Sarah Krebs who is a State Trooper/Forensic Artist with the Michigan State Police. I'm delighted to have met Sarah and have the opportunity to participate in this revolutionary day for all Missing Persons within the state of Michigan.

Further details of "Missing in Michigan" - Michigan's Missing Persons Day 2011 can also be found here: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=118335424904075

Always hope - we'll never forget ...

Sara Huizenga
Founder of Peace4 the Missing
http://peace4missing.ning.com
Read more at peace4missing.ning.com

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Three Secret Tricks to Find Out Who's Checking You Out Most On Facebook

2011-02-21T21:16:00.001-05:00

URL: http://www.socialsprouts.com/2011/02/three-secret-trick...

Alright Facebook "sleuthers" have we got a tip, trick, super stellar Facebook Investigation Tool ... for YOU!

Here it is ... three sweet tips that actually work (at least at time of post) ... these are the reveal tricks that can soon provide you with that universally sought answer to the most relentlessly pursued question of all ...

Who's most checking you out on Facebook???

Facebook Reveal Trick #1: The first method is to refresh your profile page and see which friends appear again and again on your profile. Typically, these are the people who look at your profile the most over a given time period.

Tips #2 and #3 available at link below ...

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/br863

Be Aware: Pit bull Pets and Infant Children are a Dangerous, Even Deadly Mix

2011-02-20T13:55:00.004-05:00

Fact: Pit bulls can be extremely dangerous.

Case in point somewhat proven by the news articles linked below which include just some of the results from a quick google look-up of most recent pit bull attacks.

Please become informed and aware of this reality prior to deciding to bring or keep a pit bull in your home as your family pet. Furthermore, be especially cautious of having a pit bull in your home if you have young children.

Also, if your child is an infant, PLEASE strongly consider choosing the safest for your baby route of not having a pit bull residing within the same home as your new baby at all ... the risks are just far too great to do so.

My intent here is really not to take any strong stance on either side of the debate, but rather HIGHLY ENCOURAGE everyone to become more informed and use greater common sense ...

If nothing else, please remember that we are all responsible to protect the children that have been entrusted within our care. Most extreme dog lover or not, this HAS to be the VERY FIRST TOP PRIORITY for each and every one of us.

Pit Bull Mauls Baby to Death
http://www.wwmt.com/news/baby-1387588-death-police.html

Victim of fatal dog attack identified, autopsy results expected Friday
http://www.wmbfnews.com/story/14050830/dillon-co-deputies-investigating-death

Newborn killed by family's pit bull terrier
http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/10/26/florida.infant.killed/index.html?eref=ib_topstories

Pitbull Attack Sends Girl To Hospital
http://www.whiotv.com/news/26862308/detail.html

Pitbull attack in Rutland
http://www.castanet.net/news/Kelowna/60099/Pitbull-attack-in-Rutland

Jury finds couple guilty for dogs' attack on family
http://www.redlandsdailyfacts.com/sanbernardinocounty/ci_17417677

3 Pitbulls Attack 13 Year Old Lab
http://www.kiiitv.com/Global/story.asp?S=14045643

Two kids in hospital after dogs attack family at Hoppers Crossing
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/victoria/two-in-hospital-after-dogs-attack-family-at-hoppers-crossing/story-e6frf7kx-1226005762114

Arizona boy speaks out after losing ear in dog attack
http://www.abc15.com/dpp/news/region_central_southern_az/other/arizona-boy-loses-ear-after-3-dogs-attack-him

Pitbulls bit 10-year-old’s face in vicious Arizona City attack
http://www.newyorkinjurynews.com/2011/01/24/Pitbulls-bit-10-year-olds-face-in-vicious-Arizona-City-attack_201101245860.html

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Should Pit Bulls Be Banned in Texas? Hear Both Sides
http://www.kiiitv.com/Global/story.asp?S=14010654

Pit Bull Bans — Some Jurisdictions Reconsider BSL http://www.suite101.com/content/pit-bull-bans--some-jurisdictions-reconsider-bsl-a348538#ixzz1EWZpXckO

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Clashing P's: Psychics and Police

2011-02-19T03:07:00.000-05:00

Do the Police Really Use Psychics?

Nickell published several articles in Psychic Sleuths to the effect that while most police officers or departments take psychic information under consideration, they do not actively seek out such help—at least not under official channels. Under anonymity, several people have indicated to this author (Ramsland) that psychics have been brought into cases despite prohibitions against it.

Practical Homicide Investigation
Vernon J. Geberth, author of Practical Homicide Investigation, devotes five pages to how police officers can (and do) work with psychics, but Barry Fisher, in Techniques of Crime Investigation, equally as renowned to law enforcement, ignores the entire issue.

Geberth admits that it's controversial to work with psychics and that police officers are naturally skeptical of their claims, but he presents the results of his research on several psychics, including Noreen Renier (whom Gary Posner approaches with a skeptical eye in Nickell's Psychic Sleuths). He claims that if the technique has proven successful at all, it should be considered again. Calling a psychic a person who is "extra sensitive to nonphysical forces of life energy" (without explaining what that is), Geberth accepts Renier's rendition that this means "getting rid of logic and rationale." Without any basis in science, Geberth says that psychics have learned to "control a portion of the brain which is not generally used."

Then he proceeds to offer guidelines to agencies that are considering calling on a psychic:

* the psychic's performance will be tested by results
* the psychic will have a distinct method of operation
* the psychic should be considered as an aid in developing clues
* the police should provide all follow-up to information offered
* since there are no scientific guidelines, the police must determine whether the psychic's claims are legitimate or worth pursuing
* officers who cannot accept a psychic's work should not get involved, as their attitudes can block the psychic's effectiveness
* the psychic should offer information not available to the public in publicized reports, as a way to prove his or her special insight
* all conversations with the psychic should be taped

Noreen Renier (Courtesy Noreen Renier)
While Noreen Renier apparently prefers to hold an object that had belonged to a victim at the time of the murder, and Geberth does not raise any objections, in fact such handling could contaminate evidence and make chain-of-custody claims difficult later in court. Geberth says that an earring from a victim was sent to Reneer and she used it to determine through psychometry what the victim looked like and how she was killed. She "saw" tattoos on the murderer's arms and later said that her visions helped the police to track him down. Geberth notes that they arrested the guy based on physical evidence at the scene, but leaves the impression, without quite saying so, that the psychic solved the case.

She herself, he says, advocates a way to develop and enforce strict licensing procedures for psychics, to eliminate fraud and allow the legitimate practitioners who have been properly evaluated to practice.

In conclusion, Geberth notes that there is little hard research data available about how much psychics have aided in solving crimes (he offers none), and at no time does he provide a convincing case that illustrates in detail how a psychic actually did so.

Yet Randles and Hough describe how psychic Rennie Wiley set up an agency in Florida in 1984 to teach police how to call on their own extra sensory abilities to solve crimes. She called her agency The Dragon's Lair and used it to form a network of psychics and retired police officers who could combine their talents and offer assistance to the local police. They specialized in finding stolen property.

More interesting is Ken Charles, a British police officer who used his psychic abilities on the job. He would use his intuition, he said, to figure out how to make the offender slip up and leave clues that could be used in court. He wrote about this in his autobiography, Psychic Cop.

What appears to be most annoying to police officers is that when crimes happen—especially high-profile crimes—psychics call in offering information—sometimes hundreds of them. Regardless of whether the information is even acknowledged, the psychic claims that the police consulted him or her on that case. This appears to have been the MO of more than a few famous psychics, whose cases numbered into the hundreds and thousands. How many they actually worked on, let alone were invited into, is anyone's guess.

Often on any given case, no two psychics agree, so which one is to be believed? Even if one is singled out, the information that psychics give is typically too vague and impressionistic to narrow down the field of search, and it looks impressive only in retrospect.

Joe Nickell asks psychics to step forward and solve the great mysteries, such as where is Jimmy Hoffa? Or who killed JonBenet Ramsey? So far, psychics have tried but none has succeeded.

Says debunker Gary Posner, who criticizes the lack of controlled studies of paranormal phenomena, "There has not been a single iron-clad case, bulletproof case that has been convincing."

In addition, no psychic has ever stepped forward to try for the million-dollar reward that James Randi's educational foundation offers (nor any other financial award from other agencies) for proving their psychic powers in controlled conditions. This certainly baffles the average person.

Thus far, a psychic's reliability for law enforcement has not been established. Anecdotal information is sometimes impressive and even surprising, but nothing can be concluded about using psychics as resources in solving a crime.

Read more on: http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/criminal_mind/forensics/psychics/11.html http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/criminal_mind/forensics/psychics/11.html

Please join us at Peace4 the Missing
Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
http://peace4missing.ning.com

Find Jesse Ross February 18th Birthday Card Awareness Campaign - PEACE4 THE MISSING

2011-02-17T23:02:00.001-05:00

URL: http://peace4missing.ning.com/group/jesseross/forum/top...

Wake Up CHICAGO! --- Jesse Ross is still Missing!!!

Jesse's Birthday is on February 18th, however since Jesse Ross is not here, his family has requested that you please send your birthday cards for him to:

The Chicago Mayor's Office

121 N LaSalle St. #507

Chicago, IL 60602

and/or

Lt. Kevin Dillon

3510 S. Michigan Ave

Chicago, IL 60653

Link to the Mayor of Chicago: http://mayor.cityofchicago .org/mayor/en.html

Online contact form: http://webapps.cityofchica go.org/eforms/org/cityofch icago/eforms/controller/contactUsForm/preFeedbackForm.do

** Any information regarding the disappearance of Jesse Ross, please contact the Chicago Police Department at: 312-744-8266 or send an email via form found on the following link ... http://findjesseross.com/index.php?option=com_qcontacts&view=contact&id=1&Itemid=57 **

Jesse Ross - NamUs MP # 3028

https://www.findthemissing.org/cases/302 8/0/

http://findjesseross.com/

http://peace4missing.ning.com/group/jesseross

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Missing-Jesse-Ross/169591826398026

NamUs.gov Missing Persons System - https://www.findthemissing.org/

Peace4 the Missing

http://peace4missing.ning.com/

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Kelsey Smith - a true Angel that continues to bless many - PEACE4 THE MISSING

2011-02-17T22:10:00.001-05:00

URL: http://peace4missing.ning.com/video/kelsey-smith-a-true...

Beautiful, cherished, much missed angel of Peace4 members Greg and Missey Smith ... Kelsey continues to make our world a better place for all of us ... we are honored to have the opportunity to know some of her beauty through them ... <3

Kelsey's Army - The Kelsey Smith Foundation

http://kelseysarmy.org/

Kelsey's Dad, Peace4 member, Greg Smith ... http://peace4missing.ning.com/profile/GregSmith

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/bqmw6

Check out @shonali giving a presentation about redefining PR in the 21st Century #pr #sm

2011-02-17T01:19:00.001-05:00

Really great to see a presentation of my friend Shonali giving a talk about what she knows best - PR and Social Media. Well done Shonali, you are a great speaker!

Amplify’d from www.youtube.com

Shonali Burke - Redefining PR in the 21st Century - What's Next DC

See more at www.youtube.com

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PLEASE SHARE HERE How YOU CAN Help Obtain Justice4 - PEACE4 THE MISSING

2011-02-17T01:17:00.001-05:00

URL: http://peace4missing.ning.com/group/justice4thejustifie...

We are all here for a reason ... you would not be here right now if you also didn't have something to ALSO give back.

All too often the injustices of life unfairly and without reason cast upon us also take from us our belief in ourselves and abilities ... after a while of being encountered and slammed down by countless shut, slammed and locked doors ... we are left feeling helpless and even worthless towards making any real change towards actually pursuing the justice we're after.

This doesn't have to be!

EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU HERE HAS SOMETHING TO OFFER BOTH YOURSELVES AS WELL AS EACH OTHER! YOUR ABILITY TO WORK WITH AND FOR EACH OTHER IS EXACTLY WHAT ALL OF THE JUSTICE SOUGHT FOR HERE IS IN NEED OF!

The administrator of this group, Don Ross (father of missing son, Jesse Ross) says it so much better than I ... so for the most part I am going to step away here ... because all of YOU - the ones truly fighting for JUSTICE4 ... YOU ARE THE EXPERTS!

IT TRULY TAKES A TEAM - LET'S BE THAT TEAM!!

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/bqisg

Trust, Friends, Scams and Facebook - PEACE4 THE MISSING

2011-02-11T09:03:00.001-05:00

URL: http://peace4missing.ning.com/forum/topics/trust-friend...

Facebook is an awesome tool and I think we'd all agree a great resource for missing persons and causes in need of justice awareness.

However, that said - as I'm sure many of us sadly also personally know, Facebook is at times a source of much deception and scams.

So what do we do? I guess like everything in life: just use our best common sense and wisely look into our gut instincts.

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/aptkw

How Do I Know Who I Can Trust Online?

2011-02-10T17:01:00.000-05:00

BusinessWeek reader and full-time law student Stephanie Dube writes that the Web offers free tools to help identify and thwart potential scammers

Online Verification: Who Can You Trust in the Virtual World? By Stephanie Dube

Kaylee was struggling. Diagnosed with a heart condition and cancer, she was scared. So she started a blog. Soon, people across the country answered her plea, writing notes of encouragement and even trying to mail her care packages. One night, she wrote a supporter. "I'm overwhelmed right now. I'm dying."

Brief interactions evolved into late-night, long-hour conversations. But things only got worse. And that was the problem.

In early December 2008, Kaylee added a new blog entry titled, "Coming Clean." She didn't have cancer. She had never been sick. In a move eerily reminiscent of the fake "Kaycee Nicole" of 2001, "Kaylee" revealed to her numerous followers that she had been lying for two years.

The news was a blow, but there had been signs. In fact, whenever anyone is revealed as an imposter, you can almost always look back and find signs.

Are You Real?

How do you know if someone online is genuine? Sometimes it's pretty transparent. We've all received messages about magic bank accounts filled with rivers of cash. One of my favorites was an e-mail from a supposed FBI agent. He requested that I send money to prove I wasn't a terrorist. (I've got to admit, that was pretty creative.) I also fondly remember an e-mail from "David Palmer" of the show 24. He needed money, too, because apparently TV characters are real. I'm still waiting for a message from Jack Bauer.

Alfred Adler, a psychologist who collaborated with Sigmund Freud, said: "Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement." The philosophy transfers to the online world quite well. Don't just trust words, authenticate them. This is especially vital when the communication involves your business. You can verify someone in two ways: through technology and observation. The technical side can often be faked, but a scammer will always give off a psychological "tell."

Technical Authentication

Here are a few tools, available free on the Web, that will help you identify who's for real and who's surreal (and likely up to no good, at your expense):

Run Internet background checks. Google (GOOG) is your friend. Use the popular search engine to look up a contact's e-mail address. Is the first part used as an alias? If your contact has a Web site, run a search on it. Visit Who Is Domain Tools to see who owns the site and when it was launched. Finally, plug your contact's phone number into Who Called Us to see if he has been identified as a scammer.

Trace the e-mail. You can use an e-mail's header to find the sender's location. What Is My IP Address works great for this. You'd be amazed how many times I've found that an e-mail came from Nigeria! This method isn't foolproof, though. Many scammers use proxies to hide their location.

Check Web statistics. Most people have a Web tracker on their blog or site (I like StatCounter.) If a new contact says he found your Web site through a search, check your Web stats to see if a visitor from his IP address really was referred in that way.

Psychological Tells

Identifying scammers is like calling a bluff in poker. Technical observation isn't enough. Look for subtle behavior changes that give away a person's real intentions.

Think about whether he or she is being consistent. Creating a fake persona takes a lot of work, so pay attention to details. If the contact should be in surgery, was she online instead? Also, is the tone a little too urgent, too desperate? Fake personas create situations that demand (your) immediate attention.

As your mom no doubt always told you, trust your gut instincts. Does your new contact sound too good to be true? Is her photo too perfect? Many scammers steal photos from modeling Web sites and stories from fairy tales.

The hallmark of many fake personas is drama. The craziest things keep happening—over and over and over. Sometimes, you're the only person in the world who can help—or so you're told.

Finally, emotional scammers crave attention. Does he come up with a new problem when you try to end a conversation? Scammers will not respect your boundaries. Watch for signs that he is keeping an eye on you, as if you're a fish on a line that he doesn't want to get away.

All of this was driven home to me during the first week of this new year, when a woman on Twitter learned the hard way that people online are quite unpredictable. After a particularly rough night putting her daughter to bed, the frustrated mom "tweeted" that she wanted to smother her child so she would fall asleep. Later that night, there was a knock on her door. One of her followers had reported her to the police.

It's best to not just be authentic, but wisely authentic. Watch who you interact with and what you say online. You never know who's listening.

Stephanie Dube is a full-time law student and freelance writer based in Plano, Tex. You can find out more about her at www.StephanieDube.com/Twitter.

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Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
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Can Loss Make Us Stronger? - PEACE4 THE MISSING

2011-02-10T14:03:00.001-05:00

URL: http://peace4missing.ning.com/forum/topics/can-loss-mak...

"I still cry. But that's okay. It's part of who I am. Part of me is missing. It's healed, and the scar shows, but I'm whole. I may walk with what appears to be a limp to others. But my gait is stronger."

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/apt6z

The Missing You Foundation and Mid-Michigan Working Dogs Discovery of Amy Sue Henslee and Tonya Howarth - PEACE4 THE MISSING

2011-02-08T17:36:00.001-05:00

URL: http://peace4missing.ning.com/forum/topics/the-missing-...

The Missing You Foundation and Mid-Michigan Working Dogs organizations provided a critical piece of the investigation that led to the discovery of the bodies of two women found shot to death and buried in a rural, wooded area of Bangor Township.

James Henslee, of Hartford Township, reported his wife, Amy Sue Henslee, 30, missing to the Van Buren County Sheriff's Department on Jan. 24.

By Jan. 27, the sheriff's department had assembled a major crimes task force with the assistance of the state police, FBI and the Berrien County Sheriff's Department to find Henslee.

But, in the meantime, James Henslee had contacted the Missing You Foundation, based in Albion, to see if it could help.

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/apeec

Bullies Don't Like To Be Challenged

2011-02-03T01:53:00.001-05:00

Bullies and Self Esteem - They Actually Have Too Much

Author: BrianCruz

Do you remember coming home and telling your mom about the bully on the playground who took your lunch money and made you feel bad? Chances are, your mom told you that bullies have low self esteem, and they pick on other people so that they can feel better about themselves.

It may have made sense at the time, but, when it comes to bullies and self esteem, your mom was wrong.
In fact, psychological experts have changed their opinions on bullying. Instead of believing the theory that your mom told you, now, they say bullies actually have too much confidence. Their problem isn't low self esteem; it's actually dangerously high self esteem.

Now you're probably thinking, 'isn't having lots of confidence a good thing?'

Yes, in the right context, having confidence is great. However, bullies have so much confidence that they think they are better than everyone else. They think that they can do or say anything - no matter how horrible - and it is perfectly acceptable. If they torment you relentlessly, pick fights with you, or try to make you feel bad at school or work, they believe they have a right to do so. They don't see anything wrong with such horrible behaviors.

How do bullies and self esteem affect everyone else?

Unfortunately, bullies' abnormally high confidence can lead to very low self esteem in the people they target. Think about it - if you are constantly being told that you're not good enough, or if someone is constantly making fun of you, you may start to believe that there really is something wrong with you. Being bullied plays a huge role in developing low self esteem.

How can you stop bullying?

Because they are so full of themselves, bullies do not like to be challenged. That's why bullies tend to target people who have low self esteem, because they do not want anyone to fight back. If you want to stop bullying, you have to develop confidence in yourself. If a bully sees that you are not an easy target, he will likely move on to someone who is.

If you have enough confidence in yourself, you are not going to take what a bully says or does seriously - no matter how outrageous his behaviors might be. By speaking to a bully with authority, having the confidence to make eye contact with him, having the courage to just walk away from him, and refusing to take his bait, a bully can see that his behaviors are not bothering you.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/self-improvement-articles/bullies-and-self-esteem-they-actually-have-too-much-3963641.html
About the Author

For more information visit: low self esteem and bullying. Looking for ways to improve your self esteem take a look to Self esteem From The Inside Out

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Dirty Laundry a time and a place - PEACE4 THE MISSING

2011-02-02T18:26:00.001-05:00

URL: http://peace4missing.ning.com/forum/topics/dirty-laundr...

Lets remember the reason why we are all here in the first place.

We all use the social media sites it is a great way to get our messages out there and it does benefit us all, but lately I have been seeing a whole bunch of dirty laundry being aired between people that should be trying to work together and what is worse it's being aired in front of the people we are most trying to help. They don't want to hear this, they don't need to hear this all they want is help from us. So I am suggesting if there are any differences and you want to talk about them take it into the office and discuss it there.

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/ao90n

It Can Happen To Anyone: Google Executive Goes Missing - PEACE4 THE MISSING

2011-01-31T22:12:00.001-05:00

URL: http://peace4missing.ning.com/forum/topic/show?id=21531...

An executive for Google Inc. is missing in the wake of Egypt’s tumultuous protests, according to his brother. Wael Ghonim, whose LinkedIn profile says he is head of marketing for the Middle East and North Africa at Google, hasn’t been heard from since Friday at 6 p.m., his brother Hazem said. Hazem said the family is in touch with Google.

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When Good People Do Nothing - PEACE4 THE MISSING

2011-01-21T10:58:00.001-05:00

URL: http://peace4missing.ning.com/forum/topics/when-good-pe...

We don’t usually think of history as being shaped by silence, but, as English philosopher Edmund Burke said, ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph [of evil] is for good men to do nothing.’

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/bn8i5

Families of the Missing: The Time has come for You to Take Back Your POWER

2011-01-01T19:55:00.000-05:00

To our precious, much loved Families of the Missing: You do not have the Luxury of Ignoring This Post ... this message is specifically for your eyes and you NEED to hear it.

For unless YOU, The Families, actively support the efforts of hope that you've been given ... you cannot expect others to get on board with it and make it work either ...

You have the opportunity to make NamUs.gov a success ... you, the families with missing loved ones, have within your power to make Billy's Law happen ... and it is only in YOUR VERY BEST INTERESTS that they do ... for there are none others so directly effected by their success than you, the families of missing loved ones, are ...

The ugly reality however is that somewhere along the way, many of your voices have been silenced ... you yourselves have told us on your platform, Peace4 the Missing, the tragedy behind this fact ... and we in response have also become truly outraged to know for a fact how often our families have been and are preyed upon by self-seeking others.

And for much too long, the cruelty that the world has shown you has been allowed to continue ... a result of which ultimately has made many of you feel like you are helpless, like your voice continuously gets lost amidst others agendas and in the end holds no great value.

But, that is a lie ... the time has well come for you to no longer feel helpless ... efforts have finally been set in place to empower your voice, for YOUR missing loved one.

It is time to break free from the bondage of deceit that others have been force feeding you.

Because, in reality, you are not lost without the help you may currently feel obligated to ... reality is that there are countless sources of authentic, non-self serving sources of help available - ready, waiting and able to assist you ... however the screens put up by others of whom prioritize an agenda more for themselves than about you has made it so you just can't see or hear the ego-free help that IS out there.

NamUs.gov was foremost created for YOU, the Families of the Missing ... your calls of injustice WERE heard! It is here! And its mission and purpose is entirely centered around and upon giving those with missing loved ones take back their power.

Your HOPE is reaching out to you ... TAKE IT ... what you fear you might lose by doing so is in reality the very baggage that is most holding your efforts to FIND your loved one back.

Believe again in your voice, become empowered by this Hope ... fight for it, share it, spread the word about it, demand it ... it's up to YOU to make it happen.

For as much as we'd all like to do it for you, the reality is that we can't ... you own the voices that hold the most power ... take them back ... use them ... bring home those of whom you seek.

I'm sorry this isn't a "feel good" post ... yet at the same time I AM so grateful to be able to share it with you at all.

I am pleading with you, FOR YOU, to not let this Hope pass you by ... I am so tired of shoving Hope down so many throats ... truth is - that by doing so - I've often even become annoying to ME ... and most of all ... I am so confused at to why it all too often has seemed necessary to so forcefully push and try to "sell" this FREE FOR YOU GIFT to begin with ...

Every post here includes a share button ... it's up to you to use them ... praying with hope that you will ...

We have come SO FAR ... it IS WORKING ... AND - WE CAN DO EVEN BETTER ... Make it HAPPEN TODAY!!!

You know what to do ... and it's mandatory that you do it ... act now knowing that we will support you every step of the way ... <3

NamUs.gov and Billy's Law ... about the Families of the Missing and FOR the Families of the Missing ... read, share and fight for this ... http://peace4missing.ning.com/forum/categories/namusgov-billys-lawh...

Please join us at Peace4 the Missing
*an agenda free platform FOR the families of the missing and victims of crime
http://peace4missing.ning.com

Peace4 on Earth

2010-12-23T17:58:00.000-05:00

Peace4 the Missing
A voice platform and support network for those with missing loved ones and victims of crime
http://peace4missing.ning.com/

Peace4's Facebook Page
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Peace4-the-Missing/114101641947

Watch Online - Jeramy Burt on Disappeared, Doomed Romance

2010-12-23T14:59:00.000-05:00

Please join us at Peace4 the Missing
Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
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Free Online Decal Makers for Missing Persons Awareness

2010-12-21T16:44:00.000-05:00

I recently ran across this article and it got me thinking ...

In Loving Memory Decals
If someone close to you has died, you may be considering in loving memory decals. You place these decals on the back windshield of your car and they serve as a reminder as well as a tribute to your deceased loved one.

Custom decals (stickers for the back windshield of your car) could also be used to generate additional awareness of our missing loved ones.

So on that note, here are a few links to sites I've found online that provide a free online decal generator -
http://customvinyldecals.com/names.htm
http://www.decalkits.com/customdecal.php
http://www.edecals.com/custom/index.html

Here's an example from one I generate using Billy Smolinski's website ...

http://www.decalfx.com/custom_decal_preview.php

The cost is fairly inexpensive, starting in the around $5 range ...

Just another thought in how to increase awareness of the missing in hopes that they might soon be brought home.

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Peace4 the Missing
http://peace4missing.ning.com

Joe Lieberman, Former Vice Presidential Nominee PUSHES for BIlly's Law!

2010-12-08T22:00:00.001-05:00

Senator Lieberman issued the following statement:

“As a parent, my heart goes out to every family that has experienced the disappearance of a loved one. Each year, tens of thousands of Americans go missing, causing heartbreak and loss for people across the country. Passing Billy’s Law will offer families of missing adults confidence that we are doing everything we can to locate their loved ones. I thank Jan and Bill Smolinski of Waterbury, Connecticut for their courage and perseverance as they continue the search for their son, Billy Smolinski, Jr., who disappeared without a trace on August 24, 2004. I am grateful for the support that my colleagues Senator Schumer, Gillibrand, and Merkley have offered for this legislation and remain committed to doing everything possible in the United States Senate to assist families of missing adults.”

Peace4 the Missing

http://peace4missing.ning.com

One Year Anniversary of Lacey Gaines UNSOLVED Homicide Case

2010-12-06T22:51:00.000-05:00

1 year anniversary of Lacey Gaines Murder, 1 year of still waiting on Justice

Change your FACEBOOK PROFILE PIC on Dec. 7th in SUPPORT of JUSTICE for LACEY CLARE GAINES!

December 7th, 2010 will mark one year to the day since Peace4 the Missing's longtime member and blog admin, Cherry Simpson's niece, Lacey Gaines was tragically murdered.

In support of our Cherry and in a mission to propel justice for Lacey, I will be changing my and Peace4's Facebook profile pics to the poster below of/and for Lacey.

It would be AWESOME if you all could/would PLEASE do the same ... xoxoxo

FACEBOOK PAGE FOR LACEY - PLEASE JOIN!!

If you have information on this murder please call:
Justice Police Department
http://villageofjustice.org/
7800 S Archer Rd,
Justice, IL 60458
Ph: 708 458-2191
Lead Det R Plotke rplotke@justicepolice-il.org
Det Joe Malloy 708-458-2194

---------------------------------------
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Missing Girl, Zahra Baker, may have been raped by two men before dying - PEACE4 THE MISSING

2010-12-01T10:24:00.001-05:00

URL: http://peace4missing.ning.com/forum/topics/missing-girl...

Court documents released in the disappearance of a disabled North Carolina girl indicate 10-year-old Zahra Baker may have been raped by two men before dying.

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/h1bg

Drew Peterson's Son Spills About Stashed Guns and Missing Stepmom - PEACE4 THE MISSING

2010-11-30T22:49:00.001-05:00

URL: http://peace4missing.ning.com/forum/topics/drew-peterso...

For the first time, the embattled Oak Brook cop son of accused wife-killer Drew Peterson publicly discussed his relationship with his father and the events surrounding the disappearance of his much younger stepmother, Stacy Peterson.

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Efforts underway to create missing person alert for special needs children - PEACE4 THE MISSING

2010-11-30T20:11:00.001-05:00

URL: http://peace4missing.ning.com/forum/topic/show?id=21531...

Mason Alert: It's a registry that can help locate and identify a missing child with autism, currently available to numerous law enforcement agencies across the country.

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Billy's Law ~ Missing Smolinski Son Inspires Hope For All Missing Through Billy's Law, S3019

2010-11-29T13:45:00.000-05:00

We at Peace4 the Missing are so proud to have Billy's Mom, Jan Smolinski as a part of this place ... and even more so forever grateful to Billy and his family for the creation of Billy's Law.

"Uncertainty is a cancer that crushes the spirit of loved ones left behind. With this bill, we have an opportunity to make changes nationwide and gives families like mine hope for a better, more certain tomorrow," said (Jan) Smolinski.

Justice for Billy ~ Billy's Guiding Light of Hope ~ Visit Billy Smolinski's Site Now to Find Out More About This Amazing Man and the Family Who Misses Him ...

Every year tens of thousands of Americans go missing, never to be seen by their loved ones again. At the same time, there are also an estimated 40,000 sets of unidentified human remains that are being held or disposed of across the country, and no organized system to match cases and remains. Billy's family has experienced many obstacles in searching for their missing son, including disconnected federal databases and a systematic reluctance to prioritize missing adult cases.

"Billy's Law," introduced by Murphy and Poe last year, empowers families and loved ones of the missing to find justice by helping to secure funding for the only federal missing persons and unidentified remains database that can be cross-searched, accessed and added to by the public - the National Missing and Unidentified Persons System (NamUs). This database enables the loved ones of the missing to spend countless hours searching for a match and add invaluable information to the case profile that only they know.

The legislation helps to streamline the reporting process for law enforcement and medical examiners by connecting two major federal missing persons and unidentified remains databases- the FBI's National Crime Information Center (NCIC) and the NamUs. Connecting these databases makes them more comprehensive and more likely to lead to a missing person or unidentified remains match.

Billy's Law also creates an incentive grants program to coroners, medical examiners, and law enforcement agencies to help facilitate the reporting of missing persons and unidentified remains to the federal databases. Grants can also be used for training programs on how to correctly use the databases and best handle these cases.

Billy's Law builds upon Connecticut's 2007 Law Enforcement and Missing Persons law as it also calls for the issuance of broad recommendations for standards and procedures for law enforcement to follow in dealing with missing persons and unidentified remains.

"The Smolinskis story is tragic, but this family's pursuit of justice, and desire to change the system for the better, is nothing less than heroic. I thank Jan for her courage to fight the system and change it for others across the nation," said Murphy.

http://www.chrismurphy.house.gov/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=393&Itemid=55

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3 Michigan boys missing after father drops them off to attempt suicide - PEACE4 THE MISSING

2010-11-28T17:51:00.001-05:00

URL: http://peace4missing.ning.com/profiles/blogs/3-michigan...

Police and neighbors were searching for three young Michigan boys Saturday who have been missing since their father claimed he dropped them off with a woman before trying to kill himself a day earlier.

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Cartoons Help Children With Trauma (NYT)

2010-11-23T20:49:00.001-05:00

I am really intrigued with this program using cartoons to help children express their feelings when they are unlikely to open up to an adult. At the end of the article Borbolla expresses her desire to take the program to places like Haiti after natural disasters.

The main problem in the developing world is that there are far too few therapists to care for the vast numbers of children who are affected by disaster.

Amplify’d from opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com

A Safe Haven in Cartoon Confidantes

For months, psychologists struggled to reach the eight year old boy in the burn unit of the Pediatric Hospital of Tacubaya, in Mexico City. He had been discovered in the basement of a house, tied to a water tank after being burned along the backs of both legs with a clothes iron by his uncle and aunt, who were later arrested. Every time an adult tried to talk about his abuse, the boy would turn away and repeat, “No, no, no, no.” One day, a therapist said to a colleague, “Nothing is working. Let’s try Dulas.”

Dulas is a computer-generated character created by Julia Borbolla, a Mexican child psychologist. It is one of several “emotional agents” Borbolla has invented that are being recognized in Mexico City as capable of gaining rare access into the inner lives of children. Dulas, like all of these characters, comes from a planet called Antenopolis and knows nothing about life on earth, not even what a mother or father is. He looks like a pointy-headed M&M with big eyes and radio antennas. He is red, the color children associate with burns, and wears bunny rabbit slippers because he remains in a hospital – so children can count on his companionship.

A therapist named Rafael Mateos Ortiz took the boy to Dulas’s room, which was decorated with stars, planets and children’s art. In the corner a TV screen was set inside a cutout of a 1950s-style spaceship, with mailbox slots for children to place notes or drawings. Mateos explained to the boy that Dulas doesn’t like to interact with adults – so he would only come out after he left the room. Mateos went to an adjacent room and Dulas appeared on the screen. Speaking through Dulas in a software-altered cartoony voice, Mateos used keyboard strokes to make him move and express emotions.

Talking about abuse to Dulas, instead of an adult, has been therapeutic for some traumatized children.

When I visited Mateos recently at the Tacubaya hospital, he told me that, within 30 minutes: “[The boy] told Dulas that he was living in a shelter, that his parents had died, that he had been abused, that he had been burned by his uncle and aunt.” Mateos added: “It was a major step – beginning to talk about his feelings.” Now the therapists had insights they could work with and the boy said he wanted to speak with Dulas again.

Over the past five years, Borbolla’s characters have been used to assist 2,000 children from 3 to 14 years old, and have been employed in three Mexico City hospitals and a center for disabilities in another city, Morelia. The characters collectively go by the name Antenas because they all have antennas and come from Antenopolis (Borbolla’s original character also goes by the name Antenas.). The psychologists I spoke with said the tool creates an environment of trust and empathy that enables them to understand children’s issues more quickly than they imagined possible, and enhances the effectiveness of their work by providing a context in which children find it easier to discover and express their feelings — which carries over to therapy. “In my practice, if I needed four or five visits with a child to understand what really happened — with Antenas I need 10 or 15 minutes, maybe two sessions,” said Borbolla.

Therapists have been using puppets to help children unearth and process their feelings for decades. But Borbolla, who has been working with children for 30 years, has taken this kind of work a step further, assembling elements that haven’t been put together before. To begin with, the children interact with the characters (or cyber-puppets) in a room without adults present (therapists monitor with cameras). The characters also have attributes and stories that are both designed to build rapport and make it easy for children to project their feelings upon them. Because they come from a planet that is different from Earth (but may have similar aspects), they are able to credibly ask naïve questions, like “What is a family?” or “What is a school?” that can elicit revealing answers. Like many children, they prefer not to interact with adults. “Children are drawn to that kind of complicity,” comments Borbolla.

Perhaps most important, therapists must undergo several months of training and practice, under observation, before they can use the tool. Not all therapists receive certification, Borbolla says. It takes a good ear and a light touch ─ playful, enthusiastic, funny at times, but not too funny ─ to understand how to follow the child’s lead and make the characters come alive in a way that respects the child’s feelings and is believable enough to work.

Borbolla originally got the idea to use a drawing of an animated character to communicate with children when she was working as a school psychologist in the 1980s. Years later, in private practice, she worked with a cyber-puppet maker to develop a software version. She spent six years refining the tool. “This is the fruit of many years’ experience and many adjustments,” she told me.

In 2005, she established a nonprofit foundation, Antenas Por Los Ninos, supported by grants, to disseminate the work. The impetus was a comment made by her daughter Juli, who is now 27 and is also a clinical psychologist. Juli had been born without a right ventricle in her heart, and as an infant and child she had undergone repeated surgeries and hospitalizations. Borbolla recalled: “She told me, ‘If I had had Antenas in the hospital, I would have asked the character many things I never asked because I was afraid of saying things that might hurt you or my father. I wanted to know if I was going to die. I wanted to know what else was going to happen to me.’ ”

Antenas characters have been used to assist children who are experiencing a range of difficulties. Therapists in Tacubaya use them in pre- and post-operative therapy and burn rehabilitation. In Morelia, one character, Bompi, is employed to assist children with disabilities. (Bompi says that all humans have disabilities because they don’t have antennas.) The program is being used to provide emotional support to children with heart disease and cancer, teach children how to protect themselves from potential abuse, and, at the government’s request, learn about children’s experiences in public day care centers. In a pilot project being conducted by the Pediatric Hospital of Iztapalapa in conjunction with four government agencies, children’s interactions with another character are carefully being reviewed as potential legal evidence in cases of violence or abuse.

One of the first times Borbolla used the Antenas character was with a five-year-old girl whose parents brought her in because she had been wetting her bed. Antenas asked the girl, “Who do you live with?” She replied: “My father, my mother, my little brother, and the maid.” When Antenas asked: “What’s a maid?” the girl replied “It’s a woman who helps mother with the house and when your father goes out, she hurts you.” Another time Antenas asked a young boy, “What’s a driver?” and the boy said that a driver is a man who uses the car and touches you in the guest bathroom when your parents go out. Borbolla explained that these disclosures ─ spontaneous responses to general questions ─ are highly reliable, especially when they come from young children. But therapists also follow up with the child and the family to confirm facts.

In such cases, therapists have to handle the information carefully. One principle of the work is that a therapist must not reveal that she knows something that was said to an Antenas character privately. The character must first ask permission of children to share any information with a “good adult.” This preserves the trust and integrity of the child’s relationship with the character. In the case of the boy and the driver above, Antenas said he should tell what he said to “Julia, that lady who brought you here.” The boy replied, “If I tell someone the driver will kill my mother.” Antenas said, “She will know how to protect you and your mother.” The boy gave permission for Antenas to tell Julia and she made sure the child’s parents, who happened to be wealthy, came directly to her office to pick up the boy (the driver was waiting for him outside) to deal with the matter.

Over the years, Borbolla has gained insights into children simply by having a character ask basic questions like “What is a mother?” or “What is a father?” With children in hospitals, the character may ask: ‘What is a doctor?’ If the child responds ─ as many do, in effect ─ “A mean person who makes you suffer,” then Antenas can help the child handle his fears and adapt to his treatment.

The psychologists I spoke and emailed with said they loved the tool. Ana Zarina Fiorentini Cañedo, who supervises the psychological program at Tacubaya, wrote that she highly recommends the program for hospitals because of its efficacy in helping children heal from the emotional pain of illness. Some psychologists have concerns about children being deceived into thinking they are confiding with a character when they are in fact talking to human adults. Borbolla acknowledges it, but says that it’s an extension of the established practice of using puppets. And she is careful to add that Antenas is no substitute for therapy. (She likes to limit its use to six sessions.) “It is a simple tool, but it can be enriched with the personality of each expert,” she says.

To date, Antenas hasn’t been rigorously studied, and Borbolla is working to engage researchers to examine its impact. She is developing an Internet-based application to reach children who are immobile. And she dreams of having the resources to bring the tool into disaster areas, like Haiti. “After an earthquake, everybody thinks of food and blankets, but what are the children feeling? How are they faring?” Her biggest fear is that the tool will be co-opted for negative purposes. “I see how powerful it is,” she told me. “It can be used to get into the souls of children.”

On Saturday, I’ll provide more examples of the Antenas characters’ interactions with children and respond to reader comments about the idea.

David Bornstein is the author of “How to Change the World,” which has been published in 20 languages, and “The Price of a Dream: The Story of the Grameen Bank,” and is co-author of “Social Entrepreneurship: What Everyone Needs to Know.” He is the founder of dowser.org, a media site that reports on social innovation.

See more at opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com

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Finding the Missing - Doing the Right Thing Requires Taking Chances

2010-11-22T20:44:00.000-05:00

Snider: Doing the right thing requires taking chances

I have been following the details that have been coming to light concerning Elizabeth Smart and her kidnapping. She was the 14-year-old Utah girl who was allegedly kidnapped by a man named Brian David Mitchell. His accomplice was his wife, Wanda Barzee. During a "ceremony" directly after her abduction from her home, Elizabeth was "sealed" (married) to Mitchell by Barzee in a bizarre ritual, police say. It was nine months after she was abducted, charges alleged, that she was finally rescued. By her account, during her nine months of hell she was raped, made to live like a wife of Mitchell and pretty much brainwashed.

The part that gets me the most angry is that there were several times that people have testified that they had seen the trio walking here or there and something was out of place. But they never followed their instinct or acted on their weird vibes. One particular instance was a time that the trio were at a local library and someone called the police stating that they though Elizabeth Smart may be in there.

"Former Salt Lake City homicide detective Jon Richey was sent to investigate. Although he considered the lead 'a long shot,' he asked, repeatedly, to lift the young woman's veil. But Mitchell said it violated their religious beliefs for anyone but the young woman's husband to see her face. Richey testified that it would have violated her civil rights to lift the veil if the story about her religious beliefs was true. And Mitchell's calm demeanor didn't set off any alarms for him. He said that when he learned about six months later that the girl he'd tried to question was Smart, it left him 'traumatized.' "

"I don't see anything else I could have done," Richey told reporters after his testimony. "It's difficult for me, but I live with that, and there's nothing I would have done differently." As seen at www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/11/16/elizabeth. smart.near.miss/index.html?section=cnn_latest.

This sickens me. Not because of the detective's actions, but because he is right. Had he forced the girl to remove her veil and if it had not been Elizabeth Smart, God only knows what kind of a lawsuit would have been filed against him and the department he worked for. Of course if he would have went ahead and made her remove the veil and it was in fact her, he would have been hailed a hero. I personally don't care what religion you are, if someone thinks the young female who is with you may have been abducted, I think you should have to suck it up and remove the veil. First of all, our laws that govern this nation should not bend around religious rules. Secondly, I disagree with religion that forces women to cover their faces and walk behind the men in the first place. Period.

Most of the women I know would tell a man to shove it if he told her to walk behind him. There's something to be said about a nation that doesn't allow men to beat their women for showing a little ankle. But I don't want to bash on religions, I merely want to point out that had Richey followed his heart and gut, that girl would've been rescued a whole lot sooner. As a nation of tolerance and law, I still think it's our obligation to use a little common sense and stand between good and evil. Even if it means that we may end up being wrong, we need to look in that mirror at the end of the day and know that we did all we could.

Joe Snider is a Navy veteran and writes "A Local Voice" every other Monday. He can be contacted at Joe.snider@att.net.

Source-http://www.news-leader.com/article/20101122/OPINIONS05/11220316/Snider-Doing-the-right-thing-requires-taking-chances

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Calling all "nobodies" - it's YOU we most need on Peace4

2010-11-21T19:20:00.001-05:00

If you have a heart that cares, an inner passion to reach out and a selfless desire to make a difference, for even just one ...

Welcome ... join us ... we can't walk this broken road alone ...

Amplify’d from peace4missing.ning.com

You needn't have your own non-profit, doesn't matter if you've never been awarded for a thing, have you no "resume" credentials?

That's okay ... in fact, THAT is often the best thing ...

For what is all so often most needed, most cherished, most impacting upon this place we call Home ... is "nothing more than" a compassionate heart, a loyal friend, support with unconditional longevity ...

If you have a heart that cares, an inner passion to reach out and a selfless desire to make a difference, for even just one ...

Welcome ... join us ... we can't walk this broken road alone ...

Peace4 the Missing
A voice platform and support network for those with missing loved ones and victims of abuse
(*and for all those with a selfless, compassionate heart ~ willing and able to reach out to each member of our "family" in need*)
http://peace4missing.ning.com
Read more at peace4missing.ning.com

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Finding Peace During Difficult Holiday Seasons

2010-11-14T20:23:00.000-05:00

Finding Peace This Christmas

By Jeremy Lelek and The B& B Media Group

CBN.com – The holiday season has emerged from the mundane redundancy of the past twelve months, ushering in a seemingly magical transformation of the social atmosphere. New colors explode in the dark of night as countless houses across the nation are adorned with festive lights. The excitement of children as they await the arrival of one, Santa Claus, permeates the air. Choruses celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ fill small towns as the local church bell provides the all-too-familiar melodies of Silent Nightand Away in a Manger. Celebration is the theme of the season, and real life, with all its blemishes and pains, is brushed away into the dark corners of silence.

Peace4 the Missing

However, if one chooses to peek into the shadows, he or she will see the harsh realities that exist and are even magnified during the Christmas season. The desired “peace on Earth” is disrupted by intrusive circumstances such as difficult family members, the death of a loved one, financial strain, isolation, and loneliness. To ignore those visited by such unwelcome strangers is to fail in living out the very spirit of this sacred season.

This Christmas, be aware that all may not be bright, and that some could actually benefit from the love of the One whose life and birth we joyously celebrate at this time of year. When dealing with others or personally experiencing difficulty, consider the following, taken from the wisdom of Jeremy Lelek, president of the Association of Biblical Counselors:

Difficult Family Members: Remember the sobering words of Jesus Christ who said, “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who abuse you…If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them” (Luke 6:27, 32). Seek to live for the higher, more glorious purpose for which you were created. Do not fixate on how irritating or frustrating your family members may be or how they may need to change. Instead, recognize their character as a powerful context in which you can (and are called to) change in order that you may more accurately reflect Him (Romans 8:28-29). What is your primary agenda? That others suit you or that you suit the call of God?
First Christmas Without Him or Her: Christians are exhorted in Philippians 4:13, “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.” Believers in Jesus Christ will grieve, but their grieving should take on a different shape than the grief of nonbelievers. There is no silver-bullet to relieve the pain of loss, however, keeping Christ at the center of grief can make all the difference. Three recommendations: First, recall the precious gift of the beloved Redeemer in his giving of his own life so that death would be eternally destroyed, then offer thanks for this amazing sacrifice. Second, use the intensity of your own loss to relieve the pain of another through kind words, showing interest, or offering a loving gesture in order to “love God” and “love neighbor” (Matthew 22:37-39). Third, thank God for the good times and the precious memories.
Financial Strain: Be a good steward of the resources God has given you. Resist seasonal and cultural pressures to overspend simply for the sake of pleasing others. Use this year to contemplate the wisdom of Paul who said, “In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need” (Philippians 4:12). Interpret this year as a season in which God’s hand of mercy is sparing you and your family from the vanity of commercialization, and count yourself blessed that you may peer into the deeper meaning of Christmas.
Isolation and Loneliness: If the holidays find you spending more time alone than that to which you are accustomed, consider the following: Purpose in your heart to be focused on loving God and others this Christmas season (Matthew 22:37-39). Plan to be a blessing by doing something kind for a friend, family member, or a neighbor rather than anticipating the dread of how miserable you are going to be this Christmas. Refuse to wallow in self-pity. Schedule a time to visit a museum or take a walk in the park. Be reminded of the Creator and his eternal presence as you gaze upon the beauty of his artistry (Romans 1:19-20). When alone, be comforted by His love and presence. Take time to open the Bible and read the glorious story of redemption He has freely offered you. Worship Him!

For more information about Biblical Counseling, visit ABC’s website atwww.christiancounseling.com.

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Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
http://peace4missing.ning.com

Mothers Are Vanishing: A Mother, Friend and 2 Children Vanished From Ohio

2010-11-14T19:17:00.000-05:00

Mothers Are Vanishing: A Mother, Friend and 2 Children Vanished From Ohio

2010-11-04T17:28:00.001-04:00

For my birthday, could you please go to the link below and tell Montel Williams why you should be a guest on his show? http://ning.it/9MOp1U http://amplify.com/u/el6t

Jan Smolinski, Nominee of the Eagle Rare Life Award 2011

2010-11-02T10:37:00.001-04:00

VOTE for Jan Smolinski at eaglerarelife.com/node/105 Mom of missing Billy Smolinski and the force behind Billy's Law now in the Senate - S.3019

Vote Daily For Jan Smolinski, An Eagle Rare Life!

Jan states: "Should my story be chosen as the Rare Life winner, I hope to share the award with the community most effected. There are many John and Jane Does buried in Potter's Fields throughout the nation. Often the cost of the exhumation itself is the single obstacle between these poor souls and the DNA sampling that will help them to be returned to their family."

** BILLY'S LAW ** The Help Find the Missing Act

Find Out More Here About Billy's Law and NamUs!

_________________________________________________________

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A Voice Platform and Support Network for Families with Missing Loved Ones
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Police have a strong suspect in death of Lucia Amenta

2010-11-01T13:19:00.002-04:00

I had previously written about Lucia Amenta's Missing Persons Case back in January of 2010 ... since that time her body has been found and now police think they have a strong suspect.

Many prayers for all those affected by her loss.

Suspect firms for gran-in-barrel murder
Mark Buttler
From:Herald Sun
October 28, 2010 12:01AM
John Amenta with a photo of mum Lucia. Picture: Rob Baird Source: Herald Sun
POLICE have a strong suspect in the murder of grandmother Lucia Amenta as they continue to search overseas for a key piece of evidence.
Tracing the origins of the barrel in which Mrs Amenta's body was found remains vital to solving the killing of the 70-year-old Fawkner woman, whose grisly fate shocked Victorians.
It is a year and a day since Mrs Amenta's remains were found in a Campbellfield creek.
Homicide squad detectives are continuing a painstaking search to match the body barrel with manufacturers in Asia.
Their hunt is believed to have been concentrated on India and Pakistan.
Det-Sgt Brent Fisher said investigators remained hopeful that if they could find the source it could be linked to whoever killed Mrs Amenta.
The Herald Sun believes that police have a clear suspect in the murder of the kindly grandmother.
Well before her body was found, investigators were certain she was dead.
Homicide detectives have previously interviewed the suspect, who cannot be named for legal reasons, but are yet to gather enough evidence to lay a murder charge.
Det-Sgt Fisher would not comment on whether police had a suspect.
The barrel in which the body was found bore the stamp "Hi-Tech Bangalore" and chalk writing on its lid that said "Bat 40" and "Bar 12".
Investigators seized another barrel from her Fawkner home the day after the body was found.
Mrs Amenta's body might have been dumped at the creek, 3km from her home, months earlier.
Mrs Amenta was last seen alive on January 20, 2008 at her home in Sydney Rd.
Her husband, Paolo, told police he arrived home from a visit to the shops to find his wife's keys in the back door and a plate of chicken schnitzel on the table.
The couple's son, John, later announced a $50,000 reward for anyone able to help find his mother.
He could not be contacted for comment this week.
His brother, Paul, declined to speak publicly.
Det-Sgt Fisher appealed for anyone who could help to come forward.
"The smallest piece of information can help solve the crime," he said.
Anyone with information can call Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000
buttlerm@heraldsun.com.au.

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Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
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Focus on Compassion ... Get Involved In Charter for Compassion

2010-11-01T11:09:00.000-04:00

Be involved in something important, i am ... you should be too ...

Focus on Compassion ... Get Involved In Charter for Compassion

LEARN / THE HISTORY / KAREN ARMSTRONG WINS THE TED PRIZE

Karen Armstrong wins the TED Prize and makes her wish to have the TED community help her create, launch, and propagate a Charter for Compassion.

Why a Charter for Compassion?
The Charter of Compassion is a cooperative effort to restore not only compassionate thinking but, more importantly, compassionate action to the center of religious, moral and political life. Compassion is the principled determination to put ourselves in the shoes of the other, and lies at the heart of all religious and ethical systems. One of the most urgent tasks of our generation is to build a global community where men and women of all races, nations and ideologies can live together in peace. In our globalized world, everybody has become our neighbor, and the Golden Rule has become an urgent necessity.
The Charter, crafted by people all over the world and drafted by a multi-faith, multi-national council of thinkers and leaders, seeks to change the conversation so that compassion becomes a key word in public and private discourse, making it clear that any ideology that breeds hatred or contempt ~ be it religious or secular ~ has failed the test of our time. It is not simply a statement of principle; it is above all a summons to creative, practical and sustained action to meet the political, moral, religious, social and cultural problems of our time.
We invite each of you to adopt the charter as your own, to make a lifelong commitment to live with compassion..

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Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
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Be There Long Enough To See It Get Better

2010-10-21T18:34:00.000-04:00

Listening to this nearly broke my heart ... I know that God did not create us to be the kind of people who would wish a life of shame upon anyone. And surely He has sent us enough "life lessons" for all of us to get that by now ... We can do so very much better - for so very many ...

Joel Burns tells gay teens "it gets better" | Video on TED.com

Learn more Here about NamUs.Gov and Billy's Law

2010-08-03T17:12:00.002-04:00

(PowerPoint Presentation below from NamUs Academy Team Michigan - *relevant to the Nation*)

NamUs.Gov
http://namus.gov

Billy's Law
http://helpfindthemissingact.blogspot.com
http://peace4missing.ning.com/forum/categories/namusgov-billys-lawhr-3695/listForCategory

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Is DNA/Dental included on Your Missing Loved Ones Profile?

2010-08-01T16:15:00.000-04:00

A must read for all Family Members of the Missing ...

It is not until only recently that I myself have become so much more so informed of the VITAL importance of DNA/Dental on NamUs.Gov ... many of our Peace4 Missing Loved Ones NamUs.Gov profiles do not include this extremely relevant info. - often because it just has never been sent over to NamUs by the establishment at which this information is on file.

Please, TRIPLE CHECK your family members NamUs profile NOW!

Make certain that steps have been taken to include all DNA/Dental info on their NamUs profile!

You deserve answers - this MUST be done in order to help you receive them.

Please click the link below to find out more and how to do so.

http://peace4missing.ning.com/profiles/blogs/missing-persons-family

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Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
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Missing Persons; Family, Advocates and Concerned Citizens - this is FOR and ABOUT each of You!

2010-08-01T14:17:00.002-04:00

Taking steps to cover all bases is always the wisest move to make. And especially when it comes to finding the missing - you just can't do "too much".

Dot the i's, Cross the t's, Double Check the list, Make Certain that no Stone is left Unturned.

It is extremely important that each Missing Person has on file DNA information, Dental Records, etc. - the chances of connecting the Unidentified to a Person who is Missing is nearly impossible without this information.

Below you will find the ABSOLUTELY MUST DO Missing Persons Checklist to significantly increase the odds of Finding a Missing Loved One.

If you have a missing loved one -- get them listed in NamUs as soon as possible. You can ask LE to do it -- or do it yourself. www.FindTheMissing.org

Then your case becomes eligible for many NO COST services.
The family are the main push behind making sure you have more than one family reference sample. The they must make sure that it did indeed go into CODIS.
Do fingerprints exist? Are they in NamUs? Can you get them?
Do dental records exist? Are they in NamUs? Can you get them?
Volunteer orgs. The unidentified are often left behind. Do you know of cases that are not yet in the public eye? Can you contact your local LE, ME or coroner and ask that they get the case into NamUs? Then they too have the benefit of these free services. Go to www.IdentifyUs.org to see if your ME / Coroner system is using NamUs. If not - maybe you can let them know what they are missing out on?
UNT has formed a Forensic Service Unit at www.UNTFSU.com that offer a variety of NO COST services. The DNA is FREE! Dental services are FREE! Forensic artwork is FREE!

Doing so does not mean that you are giving up hope of finding someone alive, rather it is doing all that you are able to, in the very best way that you are able to make sure that they, no matter what, Come Home.

Please join us at Peace4 the Missing
Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
http://peace4missing.ning.com

We Need YOU to Help Save Billy's Law NOW!

2010-07-15T15:12:00.001-04:00

Click HERE to Help Save Billy's Law Now!

1. Copy/Paste this letter located HERE
2. Go HERE to find contact info for Senators on the United States Judicial Committee
3. Fill out the form on each of their individual websites (copy/paste the letter in the remarks area) and click send ...

Please join us at Peace4 the Missing
Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
http://peace4missing.ning.com

Family is Forever - The Search for a Missing Loved One Never Ends

2010-07-12T15:42:00.001-04:00

How To Make Your Voice Count Now ... http://peace4missing.ning.com/profiles/blogs/your-voice-counts-for-missing

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Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
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If you care at all about the Missing, You WILL do this Now

2010-07-12T13:35:00.001-04:00

We have within our ability the opportunity to pass a LAW that will have a revolutionary positive impact upon the lives of all Missing Persons, their Loved Ones and all those at all involved and/or potentially involved (which is everyone on the planet, btw - ;) with this issue.

The truth is ... EVERYTHING else that you could do, are doing and/or may someday accomplish for ANY missing person within the United States of America directly hinges upon and would be significantly improved by passage of The Help Find the Missing Act (ie. Billy's Law) ...

Time is URGENT, we ALL must contribute to, spread awareness of and spend some of our time dedicated towards THIS issue ... NOW is the time to put it on the forefront of your "To Do's" and MAKE IT HAPPEN ... Tomorrow WILL BE too late ... There is absolutely no excuse whatsoever for anyone with a passion and heart for the missing to not do so ...

Tell the United States Judiciary Committee Senators to pass Billy's Law (S3019) NOW! ~ Sample Letter Here!

Okay so ... how do we do this?

It's simple ... honestly ... SIMPLE!

Here's the plan ...

1. Copy/Paste this letter located HERE
2. Go HERE to find contact info for Senators on the United States Judicial Committee
3. Fill out the form on each of their individual websites (copy/paste the letter in the remarks area) and click send ...

That's it ...

Honestly, 3 simple steps and you've changed the world ... just think of how well you'll sleep tonight and feel in general after doing so.

Who wouldn't want to be a part of enriching the future of America and positively impacting our countries history.

Well, here's your chance to do so ... don't miss out ... ACT Now.

And thank you for doing so ... xoxo

Please join us at Peace4 the Missing
Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
http://peace4missing.ning.com

Your Voice Counts for Missing Persons Change!

2010-07-09T11:32:00.003-04:00

Tell the United States Senators to pass Billy's Law (S3019) NOW! ~ Sample Letter Here!

Please take just one short moment of your time to urge your senators to support and strengthen the Help Find the Missing Act ~ (S3019) Billy's Law. It is up to us to make our voices heard — for the dignity and sanctity of each missing loved one and nameless human life!

The following was written by Billy's Mother, Jan Smolinski ...

If anyone has watched the journey our family has taken to try and find a real person, disappeared, ignored by the authorities as a walk away, hurtful remarks made, evidence lost, entries wrong and incomplete, six years later and still the enormous up hill push just to bring my son home.

Please Help Find Our Missing Loved Ones

We are just a small example of the thousands of families who have to face the reality of a similar nightmare/silent crisis that faces our nation today.

Education is the key~~there is a centralized database that will help connect the dots possibly make matches or bring a loved one home called NamUs.

Imagine a person you love so dearly, a child perhaps (no matter the age they are always your child) go missing with very little attention ~ to then finally receive HOPE ... who would not stand up and say WAIT this is what we have been waiting for! ?? Perhaps a solution?

In our state of Connecticut, like most states, Billy has been missing for six years, but yet the state police ~ public safety ~ have not and will not put Billy as a missing person on their database because they say he is not their case. We questioned and were told Billy's case belongs in the lead agency database, ok, but the computers don't connect, so it will not work.

Our country is in desperate need of a new system, the disjointed, confusing process and tools currently available prior to the creation of NamUs were not working! And unfortunately, until more agencies are required to utilize NamUs (part of what Billy's Law would initiate) this broken, ineffective method will continue.

Now for the first time ever a centralized database is available and incentives are needed to help train law enforcement and medical examiners/coroners how to enter the information and take DNA samples, put into the proper databases, results that are much needed, a resolution for the family of a missing loved one may be possible, it is proven to have worked already.

A missing person DOES NOT have to be deceased for this to work.

Check your local or state clearinghouses, look at the disaster of information entered ... see for yourself the tangled web of missing pieces, entries here there and everywhere and dead ends ... it doesn't make sense.

You decide ... is this the kind of system you'd want to put the majority of your hopes for finding your missing loved one into??

If you say I don't have to worry about this it won't happen to my family, think again ~ NO ONE IS EXEMPT!!

It is time to wake up!

It is time to get the ball rolling and support the best database to date.

If law enforcement is here to serve and protect then lets educate them how to help serve and protect. It is not their fault if they are not trained, incentives are needed to help in the process.

It is 2010, this is why we in this country need S3019 ~ Help Find the Missing Act ~ Billy's Law.

Email each member on the Judiciary committee, ask each Senator to co sponsor the bill.

If it happened to one of theirs they would certainly want the best way to help achieve answers.

How to make your voice count ...

A sample letter/email for Senators that you can use is located at the following link ...

http://peace4missing.ning.com/forum/topics/sample-letter-to-senators-for

Contact page for United States Judiciary Committee Senators ...
http://judiciary.senate.gov/about/members.cfm

Additional details can be found by clicking on the following link ... http://peace4missing.ning.com/forum/topics/help-find-the-missing

Please join us at Peace4 the Missing

Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network

http://peace4missing.ning.com

Speak Out and Speak Up - Why do you support NamUs/Billy's Law?

2010-07-08T17:43:00.005-04:00

Your voice matters - now especially is the time to make it heard because as all too many of us are painfully aware ... you just never know and tomorrow could be too late ...

Please don't let this opportunity, right here, to share your testimony behind why our country needs better regulations, laws and procedures concerning missing and unidentified persons pass you by.

What you have to say, yours words, could make all the difference in the world. They very well could be exactly what those in charge of deciding whether or not The Help Find the Missing Act ~ Billy's Law goes through need to hear in order to believe in NamUs.Gov the action behind what Billy's Law would further ensure and support.

Whether you are a loved one of the missing or just someone with a heart and passion for the injustice and trauma that these families are forced to endure ... please speak out for positive change ... leave a comment below ...

Together We Can ... Every Voice Matters ... Every Face Deserves a Name and Every Being Belongs to Someone ... Billy's Law WILL Help Find the Missing - but not without your help, right now ...

Do Something BIG Today ... Save Billy's Law by Sharing Here ...

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Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
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In-Depth "How To" Media Guide for Families of Missing Persons

2010-07-07T17:21:00.001-04:00

In-Depth “How To” Media Guide Page

(Taken from the "Find Lisa Stebic" Website)

Making Noise & Beyond :
“How To” Media Guide for familes of Missing Persons

America’s Most Wanted has posted an excellent Making Noise guide that you can link to here or via the front page of this website.

We expand on those 8 Basic steps , featured on America’s Most Wanted, below:

1. Contact the Police:

Register a “missing persons” or “endangered individual” complaint.

* With a missing child - call 911 IMMEDIATELY to engage the nation’s Amber Alert system.

Time is of the ESSENCE when it comes to kidnapped children. Their chance at survival decreases with every passing minute - do NOT delay calling 911!

Law Enforcement will immediately alert the Media and make arrangements to distribute your child’s picture and information to the public.

IMMEDIATELY: FIND AND PROVIDE A RECENT (HIGH QUALITY) PHOTO & ANY HOME VIDEO OF YOUR LOVED ONE -

***Tip: get them on a computer e-mail attachment, too !! ***

2. Write down the last time the loved one was seen, what he/she was wearing, vehicle description/license plate # (if they own a car) and what their normal routine would be for that day/night.

Also note down the time on the clock - each time you call their cell-phone (even if it rings & rings and you get no answer).

Especially note the time - if it goes straight to voicemail (w/no ring).

Ask law enforcement to “triangulate” the cell-phone’s location - if you suspect your loved one is in a life-threatening situation.

3. Set-up an immediate Neighborhood Search, Provide Photo of Missing Person (Color copies to all who are searching):

Make contact with a Neighborhood Watch leader, Apt. Complex Manager, School PTA leaders, Friends/Family or anyone who would possibly possess “phone-tree” contact information to alert as many local volunteers, as can be gathered.

Appoint a trusted neighbor or family member (with cell-phone) to be the “Contact Person” for those who report in or have questions. Have them keep track of places which have already been searched & what still needs to be searched.

A local map ( printed off GoogleMaps or other source) can be used to keep track. Highlight (with a marker) those areas which have been checked. Walkie-Talkies are also a great tool, if available.

4. Create a “Missing” flier:

Use your most recent & highest quality COLOR picture of your loved one, in creating this very important tool in the search for them.

In large, BOLD print (at the top) - type in the word: MISSING

Under this, display the picture of them in as large a format as you can - so that the picture takes up the TOP HALF of the page (in height).

The lower half of the page can be devoted to the following:

Name

Age

Weight

Last seen wearing____ (clothes)

Tattoos, scars or other distinquishing features/marks

Phone number (& webpage/e-mail) for tips

Reward information (if any; which can also go ABOVE the photo, too)

5. Gather as much information as to your loved one’s current state-of-mind, relationships (personal & work), future plans…and, most importantly, if anyone has threatened them - in any way - within recent memory.

Write this ALL down - by starting a chronological journal of facts & events. (Keep track of “who-said-what” - when trying to piece together your loved one’s life up until they went missing.)

Even if you start with Post-It notes - which can be adhered into a plain notebook - written notations will help investigators put together the puzzle of what happened to your loved one.

6. Create a web-page or Website, ASAP! :

Ask family, friends or neighbors to help find a “computer-savvy” individual who can quickly assist you in setting up a webpage or website - displaying your loved one’s picture, home video-clip (via YouTube link), physical description, contact information and a message board (for tips).

Hint - there are many teenagers who have an excellent understanding of how to do this. Entrust them with this project and you will be surprised at their knowledge & willingness to help!

Here are just a few suggestions of sites that offer free or inexpensive web displays:

MySpace

Blogger

Site5.com

Make sure this webpage or website PROMINENTLY displays your BEST (recent & high quality) picture of your missing loved one.

Make it uncluttered and bright in its coloring (background & lettering).

(TV cameras will often shoot a website’s front-page to use in a news story. Strong, complementary colors are important when you want to capture attention.

Complementary colors are “visual opposites” on a color-wheel, for example: Royal Blue with Red or Purple with Orange)

Do not use pastels or small lettering !

Display the word “MISSING!” in the largest, brightest way you can - directly above your loved one’s picture.

Have that volunteer also register/sign up (on as many of the more popular Website Engines/Domains) a specific e-mail address which contains your missing loved-ones name.

(Examples: FindLisaStebic@gmail.com, Find.Rosa.Lisowski@Yahoo.com, FindStacyPeterson@hotmail.com , RachelFind@msn.com, www.JohnSpira.com)

This way, no one can misuse your loved-one’s name…or attempt to garner attention away from your case.

Choose one of them to be your main contact address for e-mails from the public and the media. (And forward the other addresses into your chosen main one)

7. Get in touch with local Media to spread the word:

Once Law Enforcement is officially involved in the search of an adult missing person - you can start to contact the local Media (newspaper, radio and television…as well as website message boards such as Topix for your city or town).

Have your law enforcement contact give you the proper “Tip Hotline” telephone number - for the public to anonymously call in tips on your loved ones whereabouts.

Have a friend or family member check the websites of each individual media outlet and gather their Newsroom “Tipline” or “Assignment Desk” contact information; both in an e-mail contact ”group” & a hard-copy (in a notebook).

FAX numbers and direct phone numbers to each Assignment Desk is essential.

Call each organization’s front-desk..and ask to speak to the “Assignment Desk” - when you have your Missing flyer designed and ready to distribute.

Be ready to send multiple, duplicate copies of your loved ones “Missing” flyer to each media outlet (FAX, e-mail, front-desk.)

Appoint an “official spokesperson” for your family, who will serve as both contact and giver-of-information (interviews) for your family.

Make sure this person is comfortable speaking in public and can speak clearly & concisely under pressure!

They will need to be available (by phone &, many times, in person) at all times of the day or week - until your loved one is found.

It is a critical and very important position…and one to keep standardized. (Appoint one person - and keep that same person for all media contact opportunities with the family.)

Arrange for them to have a reliable a cell-phone with them, at all times!

8. Get ready to write your first “Press-Release” & host your first “Family Press Conference”.

Utilizing the Media to help spread the word of your missing loved one is possible - you just need to know how to do it within their confines & schedules.

We are going to give you the best insights we have - to first draw, then maximize the opportunity of any publicity you may garner on behalf of your missing loved one.

The single, most powerful tool you have in your possession to conduct a search - is your home computer.

It will store-then-transmit your loved one’s picture & home video..along with the information that YOU craft to catch-then-direct the attention of the media and the public to your loved one’s story.

The industry standard (in the media) when one wants coverage is something called a “Press Release”.

(future example Press Release, here)

It is a SINGLE-sheet “announcement” of an event which spotlights your story.

It is what you will e-mail, FAX and, even, drop off to the media outlets you wish to cover your story.

It MUST contain the following:

1. a Header for your organization(containing the name of your loved one)

2. the words “Media Release“ or “Press Release” under that Header

3. the date you are sending it (upper right-hand corner)

4. the category-headers of What, Where, When, Directions, Visuals & Contact - for your event.

With this information, you are saying to the media that you are welcoming them to cover a pre-planned gathering or event; what it is, where it will be, who will be there (to interview), address with directions of how to get there (Googlemaps or Mapquest link) & what time for them to be there and who to ask for when they arrive.

Always use descriptive language to allow them to “visualize” what they will be covering in a section called “Visuals”.

(i.e. - “one hundred candles distributed to community volunteers who will be praying for the safe return of your loved one”, “39 purple balloons to be released by family & friends” - to mark our missing loved one’s birthday & favorite color)

Let them know (with that same written language) the emotion & loss of those left behind your loved one’s disappearance.

Write about the family and/or neighborhood and/or community’s reaction & outstretching of support for you, in the search for your loved one.

They will want to photograph this, in person (the support you are receiving)…and this will “bond” more people, in your community, to your missing loved one’s story - and you will continue to get even more volunteer help in your search!

When you send your Press Release out via e-mail, make sure to write a concise & emotional “Subject Line” at the top.

(It will be THE ONLY thing which catches the eye of the already-besieged assignment editor or intern who has the onerous duty of mulling through the HUNDREDS of press releases e-mailed or FAX’d every day to their organization!)

Our advice:

Start with the name of your loved one or organization, followed by the words “Press Release:”

(For example #2b- “Find Lisa Stebic Press Release:”)

Then distill the goal of your upcoming Family Press Conference event down to 8 to 12 heart-breaking words, which will follow that line (above).

(For example - : Father of Two, Missing. Family Fears Worst!)

or - : Popular Student goes Missing - Family Begs For Help!

or - : Divorcing, Pregnant Mother Disappears, Family Terrified ! )

These subject lines will evolve over time and must be crafted to meet EACH one of your events.

We also wrote Fliers requesting Volunteers, at the same time, which mirrored the Press Releases. Then Lisa’s friends & neighbors took them to local grocery/drug stores, churches, synagogues, diners, dry cleaners, schools, etc..and asked them to distribute them to their members & customers.

(For example, in our largest search for Lisa, we wrote this Subject Line:)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Find Lisa Stebic Press Release: Plainfield P.D. sets up massive search in Silver Springs State Park“

For the Media:

We usually wrote a short sentence or paragraph to start the body of the press release (which was inserted above the “What, Where, When, Directions, Visuals” section) which described Lisa, the loss being suffered by her family & their intent to hold a “Family Press Conference”, Search or Fundraiser - to gather support in finding her.

We, sometimes, would write an more in-depth explanation of our event’s goals under a longer paragraph entitled “Details” - such as the one we wrote for our friend Stephanie McNeil - whose brother, a talented blues musican/businessman, John Spira went missing in February of 2007.

(For Example: see Missing John Spira Chicago Musician press release-1-yr Anniversary)

Then we gave all the pertinent information of What, Where, When, description of Visuals and Contact information (for the family spokesperson) to round out the release.

Once you have this single-sheet press release written, we recommend you send it out to those media outlets, immediately & often…following this formula:

First time - send it via e-mail every SIX hours - up until the time of your event.

Second time to 3 weeks - send it twice or three per day. Early morning (before 8am) and early afternoon (12 noon)…with a 4pm backup.

After 3 weeks - Send your Press Release: One week prior to event, then 3 days before & then 1 day before event. If it occurs at night or on the weekend - send it on the morning of, as well.

If your loved one JUST WENT missing, then you are categorized as “breaking” news.

You need to catch whatever news “shift” (am or pm) is developing their daily coverage dockets.

Daily newspapers generally hold morning (9am) & afternoon (3pm) editorial meetings - to prep the NEXT day’s newspaper.

TV stations usually hold their morning editorial meetings around 9am & primetime editorial meetings around 1pm - 2pm, every afternoon (where management & reporters figure out WHICH stories to cover - with their limited manpower, for that & the next day)

News Radio can have both - since they normally have 24-hour news coverage.

When you hold a Family Press Conference, Vigil, Search or Event - remember that the Media usually has TWO shifts for their reporters/photographers: AM shift and PM shift.

It is recommended that you start your event during a daypart which does not include a “shift-change” for these individuals.

AM workers can be generally be assigned to cover your pre-planned events for anytime after 8:30am or 9am (in preparation for the Noon newscast). PM workers can usually make a 2:30 or 3pm (in prep. for the 5pm/6pm newscasts) …or 7-8pm (in prep. for the 10/11pm newscasts)

9. FAMILY PRESS CONFERENCES: Your third most powerful tool (behind your loved one’s website & your Press Releases.)

A “Press Conference” is - according to definition - an pre-designated event by which an individual, family or organization can invite the Press to come ask questions following an “opening” statement - being presented by the event organizers.

It is publicized by a Press Release and (we recommend) held at a time when most Media outlets can attend, in order to reach the largest section of the public, with your intended message. (see above)

The same statement subject( which is being made at the event) should be the one listed at the top of your press release.

If your family needs volunteers to search (say a wooded area, near your missing loved one’s home) - then you need to make that the prime focus of your “opening” statement.

In that statement, you will need to delineate/list the plans to make that “need” possible.

(Example: say “We desperately need people to help us search Tyson Woods, for our loved one, this Saturday. Search coordinators will be setting up a command post at the corner of Main Street & Grand Blvd - and ask for volunteers to show up at 9am. Protective clothing & shoes are recommended for searching the wooded areas“)

For your FIRST “Family Press Conference” - make sure you do the following:

Decide upon a family spokesperson (who will make the “opening” statement for you - with the rest of the family standing in back of that person). Have your spokesperson wear a jacket/blazer of a bright, primary color. The lapel of which will have the many TV “lav” microphones attached to it, during the one-on-one interviews.

2. Write out the statement (a few paragraphs, which go over the facts of the disappearance of your loved one, his/her description, Tip Hotline, the website or webpage information, the amount of any Reward you might want to offer..and, most importantly, how MUCH that person is missed & how painful/terrifying it is to NOT KNOW where they are and what has happened to them!) *note: when honest, deeply-felt emotion is shown - people will do anything and everything they can to help you!

3. Write a Press Release with basically the same information as you’ve decided to release in your statement…and then send it out to as many Media outlets as possible - with a picture, the website & Tip Hotline info and the What, Where, When & Visuals (see above, example #2).

4. Choose a smart location to hold your Family Press Conference.

A “smart” place would be somewhere which holds significance in your missing loved one’s life - like their house, their work or school. It is important to have that place in the background, with signage, if possible - as you give your Family Press Conference. If there is signage/banners (of them or for their work or school, etc) - make sure to stand where you have the sign - in full view - over your RIGHT or LEFT shoulder.

(It helps people assign a visual, location-based identity to your loved one - which will be visually supportive of their portrait picture.)

This means that you might need to go across the street for the building to be in full view, in back of you (for the TV cameras & newspaper’s press photographer).

Have a “rain” back-up available, too, if the weather looks ominous. A pop-up canopy-tent, is always a good option - in order to have the proper protection while doing an outdoor event - where cameras are present.

When they arrive, ask each member of the attending media write down their name, organization & contact info (phone number, e-mail & FAX number) in a ”sign in” notebook - which you can have sitting on a table - at the Family Press Conference location.

Also have a plainly marked envelope, sitting inside the notebook which says “Media Business Cards”, on the front - to collect & keep their business cards, for the future.

*Tip: We also recommend that you also borrow a small fold-up card table, cover it with a rich-colored table-cloth (red is best) and place as MANY picture-frames with pictures of your loved one, on it.

Surround those pictures with candles (even during the day), small & meaningful personal items belonging to your loved one (if available)..and a single rose with a ribbon attached, laying across the front.

This will give every photographer, on-scene, to have important visuals to intercut with your interview and statement soundbites.

Place the “portrait” table next to the location where you make your “opening” statement, so that family members can grab the portraits right before the statement is being read (see below). They can then set them back on the table, when you are finished.

Normally, photographers will “shoot” the b-roll (or “cut-away/cover”) shots of the table - following the initial statement and interview period of time.

5. Have every member of your family (and even friends, if you wish) hold a framed picture of your loved one (and hold hands) while they stand in back of the Family Spokesperson, as you read out your “opening statement”.

6. Show emotion: Don’t be afraid of telling/showing the media about how scared, terrified, upset, overwhelmed, frozen-with-fear you are feeling.

HONESTLY SHOWING THIS WILL GET THE PUBLIC TO MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH TO HELP YOU!

In this world, we human-beings have an internal gut-reaction which helps us empathize with others, who are ”in pain”.

It is called the “There but for the Grace of God, go I” feeling….and it is what MAKES people rise out of their every-day doldrums and ACT to help another human being. (Because, we would all like to think that if we were in that same positon - then someone would come to help US, in our time of need, right?)

USE this fact - in begging for help in finding your missing loved-one.

Use these words:

“We beg”,

“We Plead”,

“We are SO frightened of___”,

“We are TERRIFIED that___”,

“We are overwhelmed with Fear that_____.”

“Please, please HELP us____.”

You will find your pleas will be met…and, lovingly, by your community.

But only if you show your HEART.

Do NOT wear sunglasses during a Family Press Conference - or any item of clothing which can be seen as revealing or disrespectful. It will not reflect well on your missing loved one’s case.

Tip: if you are asked a question by the media - with which you are not comfortable (or puts you on the spot) - then respond, respectfully, this way:

“I’m sorry. I cannot answer that, at this time….but I would like you to know that _______ “ (fill in the blank with a point you DO want to get across).

The Long Run: You must get the word out any way possible

From Candlelight Vigils, Car Washes, Pancake Breakfasts, Fair/Fesitval Booths, Hair Cut-a-Thons, Garage Sales, Golf Tournaments, Butterfly & Dove Releases, Commemorative Walks, Holiday flower distributions, magnets, buttons, music videos, T-shirts, slideshow DVDs, Internet: You, too, can turn to multiple media for help in the search for your loved one!

We want to help you navigate the media & chart a public relations strategy involving fliers, vigils, flowers and magnets and more..which will BOND the public to your missing loved one & the search to find him/her.

We, Lisa Ruttenberg Stebic’s family, employed virtually every modern form of information-sharing, we could use - from a Web site and discussion boards to music videos and a YouTube.com campaign, to name just a few.

And we want to share it all with you - to help FIND your loved one!

A well-orchestrated blitz might just help you connect with the news media’s captivation with these kinds of stories. But you must stay 24-hours ahead of the next day’s news cycle.

That means MAKING news…and not just hoping for coverage!

Drive IT..so that it doesn’t drive YOU.

Here is our hard-learned & heartfelt advice:

You have to keep announcing things, creating the next news story - for the next day, few days or week.
The media doesn’t always need BIG things…just a linear distribution of NEW (visual) things being done to further the search.

Remember, the media is like a shark you have to keep feeding..or it will go away (as will your chances of keeping your loved-one’s face in front of the public).

If well-planned and executed - the results might end up in weeks of almost daily local coverage…maybe even a couple of national TV appearances….netting hundreds of volunteers searching for your missing loved-one.

We always looked at the calendar to see what important day was coming up. How could we do a creative “tie-in” into Lisa’s story - marketing-wise - to keep her name & face in the public’s eye.
If you come up with the creative idea and have a list of volunteers - who are willing to making it happen - you can easily accomplish this.

Keep your list of volunteers organized by obtaining both their phone number & e-mails address. Put them into a “Group” under your “Contacts” area of your website’s attached e-mail. (We have FindLisaStebic.com which lists FindLisaStebic@gmail.com as our contact e-mail. The we send ALL Press Releases & requests for volunteers via our gmail account).

(Note: People really, really want to help you - but usually don’t know WHAT to do to help! The community hurts alongside a family-in-crisis…and will leap to action if you simply ask. We found that all you need to do is announce you need help * via group e-mail, phone-tree or press release* - and then provide the materials, instructions & coordination to make the project successful.)

Examples: Events which use Tie-In’s:

Searches: These are your first & most-urgent form of community involvement - in the search for your loved one. If it is warm/hot outside - make sure to have bottles of cold water or gatorade to distribute (attach “Missing” flyer to each bottle or hand them out together.)

If it is cold weather outside - go to any Camping/Hunting store and buy as many gel-pack handwarmers, as you can afford. Attach a sticker with your loved one’s image, website name & hotline to each package (such as ours, below).

(These can easily be printed up at home or at a print shop..and assembled by volunteers). Hand them out to every volunteer who shows up to search. Provide hot coffee, tea, donuts & bagels - for morning searches.

Coordinate with local Search & Rescue units to provide organizational structure & coordination of the search.

Holidays: We handed out free carnations with Lisa’s picture attached (on ribbon-tags) on Mother’s Day - at neighborhood restaurants, who volunteered to hand them to every single family who came to lunch/dinner. Local grocery stores donated the flowers, we paid for the printing on the tags & community volunteers assembled & distributed them. Look to see if you can utilize a Holiday to draw attention to your missing family member’s case. Be Creative!

Just a few additional examples:
On Lisa’s birthday, we held a neighborhood vigil, served birthday cake (2 sheet cakes, complete with Lisa’s picture on the frosting - for the photographers to photograph), we played her favorite music, lit candles, read a prayer and then released 100 purple balloons (her favorite color) with her image, hoping the visual message would reach a wide audience.

At her 20th High School Reunion - we were given permission to show her “Missing” banner at the Homecoming football game while an announcement was made, requesting people help search for her & donate to her reward fund.

Local Events: At the local town fairs & outdoor concerts, we set up a folding table (with tablecloth) under a shade-tent with a stack of Lisa’s “Missing” flyers, 100 refrigerator magnets (with her face, website name & Tip Hotline #), free purple balloons and a bowl of free candy for everyone to take, one of each. We always hung a large banner or two at each event

We HIGHLY recommend you utilize our idea of handing out refrigerator magnets at your events. They are MUCH more effective, durable & long-lasting than paper fliers. Think of the LONG run - in trying to keep valid tips coming in to law enforcement! Have them printed at Kinkos, et al…and assemble yourself, to save money.

Some retail consultants may offer to contribute “partial proceeds” to a reward fund - if you include them in your event planning. Hang your loved one’s banners at the fundraisers!

We established a Reward Fund for information leading to the whereabouts of our missing loved one.

We set it up with a local bank and ensured that it was legally protected - for Lisa’s children’s college education (via a 529 account) - should it never be claimed. We held a Family Press Conference at the bank - which all the media attended (and was aired nationally). There we distributed “Lapel Buttons” with Lisa’s image, website & tip hotline - asking for a 1-dollar donation to the fund.

We organized a Car Wash and a Pancake Breakfast with the Jaycees (to benefit the Reward Fund). The community held Garage Sales, Raffles, Hair Cut-a-Thons, Wine-Tastings, Bake Sales, Golf Tournaments, Dog Wash/Grooming Days, etc to raise reward money, as well. We did them separately, so as to draw as much media coverage in steady increments. (Ask local philanthropic, community service-oriented groups to become involved and help organize these types of events. They WANT opportunities like this!)

A sincere word of advice:

Appoint one trusted person to both seek out and oversee donations - to make these “Reward Fund” Benefits, successful. Ask someone, you might know, who has a sales background & can emotionally convince organizations that a donation (of “stuffs”, like coffee, fliers, bottled water, pancake mix, etc) to your events - will actually be a donation to the community they serve. Make sure to list them on your Press Releases & Volunteer Fliers, in the “Thank You” section….and thank them, via the Media, publicly.

Individual donations (as well as those which emerge from a Fundraising event) need, without exception, to go directly into a bank account which can only be accessed by your MOST trusted family member, overseen by the Bank Manager.

Other Suggested Events:
Car Washes…

Pancake Breakfasts…

Neighborhood Retail Fundraisers…

Raffles….

Community Gararge Sales…

Vigils:
We held three Candlelight Vigils…to mark certain occasions. The first was within a week of when Lisa went missing, complete with a pastor giving a prayer & friends reading poems/memories of Lisa. The second followed the cutting of her birthday cake & release of balloons. The third was to mark & observe the 6-month anniversary of her disappearance. It featured a rabbi & cantor offering peace to Lisa’s family, in her remembrance.

(future Video or photo from first Candlelight Vigil)

For Lisa’s One-Year Anniversary - we staged a Benefit Walk, complete with commemorative T-shirts, balloons & flowers - to benefit a local charity.

(For Lisa - the charity was a local Community Center which offered free counseling & shelter for abused women and children). Before the walk started, we had several short speeches by the city mayor & council, a prayer ..then a statement by the family spokesperson…followed by a message from the parent of our missing loved one. We then had the family perform a Dove Release (7 doves) with a poignant, live acoustic song being played by a local guitarist/singer.

At these events - we’d always hang BIG banners with the photo-shopped image of our loved one. (Available through your local Kinkos or print shop..which can also produce your “Missing” fliers/posters, refrigerator or car magnets & flower tags - ).

Have a friend/family member (who is good at Photo-Shopping on their computer) create a basic design - using Clip Art (free, off the internet) of your loved one’s favorite thing, in their favorite color. For us, Lisa’s was the color Purple & Butterflies. They remained a continuing theme throughout our events.

Going “Viral” (using the worldwide Internet community - to find your loved one):

Within days of the disappearance of your loved one, try to have a family member post as many home-videos of them on YouTube.com, LiveVideo.com and etc.. We showed a poignant home movie of Lisa Stebic lighting Hanukkah candles with her children, reading to them and singing with her family & at a backyard Barbeque.

(PUT LISA”S YouTube vids, here!)

Our extended family & friends solicited help from anyone who would listen, encouraging YouTubefindlisastebic.com, via our e-mail account. viewers (and others) from around the world to send us pictures of themselves holding signs that read

Photos came from Greece, Canada and the United Kingdom, for us…and one of our talented friends created a montage of the individual photos, set to a popular song - and we posted her Slideshow back on YouTube to keep Lisa’s image out on the Worldwide Web.

(PUT “World Is Watching” video, here)

We also spun DVD copies of the slideshow montage - and gave them to the attending media at our next Family Press Coverage.

They worked so well - we got over 700 people to help up search for Lisa - in Silver Springs State Park. We intoned our thanks via a music video which featured a very powerful original song, inspired & written by a couple who searched along with us, that day. Local newspaper photographers, TV reporters and our friend at BluEyedDaizy Productions all donated their talents to pay tribute to all who volunteered that day to find her.

(future link to ”Looking for Lisa” video, here)

Remember: A picture is only a 2-Dimensional offering of your beloved, 3-Dimensional missing loved one. Videos can touch people’s hearts because they render the loved one into a flesh-and blood human being, WORTH being found !

We had people say they cried watching our videos. We were not trying to manipulate. It just made that connection where people saw Lisa Ruttenberg Stebic as a real person, not a two-dimensional driver’s license picture.

We were also lucky to obtain 3 Billboards to publicize Lisa’s disappearance.

We coordinated a Family Press Conference on the afternoon they were put up - with the Family Spokersperson & sister talking to the Media, in front of the billboard as it was being installed.

This was a very powerful image on that evening’s newscasts.

A family has only a brief window of time to draw local-then-maybe-national attention. We hope you can ride it out as long as we were able to..and that is why we are giving you every suggestion we can - so that you can try to follow the (successful) steps we made up, as we went along.

Tip: Always remain accessible to the media and to provide pictures or video, whenever possible, in hopes that a two-line blurb could become a three-minute story.

Please join us at Peace4 the Missing

Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network

http://peace4missing.ning.com

** Urgent - Your help is required - Please help this crucial bill for all those with a missing loved one become a reality - The Help Find The Missing Act ~ Billy's Law: We All Must Act Now - Send an EMAIL to Judiciary Committee Members via their web pages! http://ning.it/bGZfJK **

8-Year-Old Dylan Pausch Follow Footsteps of 'Last Lecture' Dad Randy Pausch

2010-06-24T12:15:00.000-04:00

8-Year-Old Dylan Pausch Follow Footsteps of 'Last Lecture' Dad Randy Pausch

Please join us at Peace4 the Missing
Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
http://peace4missing.ning.com

5 Signs You May Have a Materialistic Kid

2010-06-11T13:06:00.001-04:00

Might you have a materialistic critter on your hands?

REALITY CHECK ... Beware: materialism is hitting our kids at younger and younger ages. Two-thirds of mothers say that their kids ask for specific brands before the age of three.

Natalee Holloway's Mom Keeps Focus on Action, Not Anniversary - AOL News

2010-06-01T23:05:00.000-04:00

Natalee Holloway's Mom Keeps Focus on Action, Not Anniversary - AOL News

(June 1) -- This past spring, like so many others before it, has been a difficult one for Beth Holloway. But she's never given up hope of finding her daughter Natalee, who disappeared five years ago this May, and she continues to devote time to helping others along the way.

"[I've] made it my life's work every day to represent Natalee to speak on behalf of her," Holloway said in an interview on the "Today" show on Sunday, the anniversary of her daughter's disappearance.

Mike Wintroath, AP

Beth Holloway, the mother of Natalee Holloway, who has been missing for five years, said this weekend that she still has hope she will one day know what happened to her daughter.

"I know, five years -- it is hard to imagine it has been that long. But I still feel that there is a potential for information ... to come, so I still have hope that at some point we will have [answers]," Holloway said.

Natalee Holloway, 18, from Mountain Brook, Ala., disappeared May 30, 2005, while on a trip to Aruba to celebrate her high school graduation. Her body has never been found.

Holloway's classmates said they last saw her leaving an Oranjestad nightclub called Carlos 'n Charlie's with Joran van der Sloot, then a 17-year-old Dutch honors student living in Aruba, and his two friends, Surinamese brothers Deepak and Satish Kalpoe. All three young men were arrested, but they were released without charge.

From the outset, van der Sloot allegedly has made multiple confessions in the case, each varying significantly. As a result, Aruban prosecutors have deemed them a mixture of "lies and fantasy" and have decided not to take action against him.

Beth Holloway said she puts little stock in van der Sloot's individual confessions -- the latest of which came to light in February -- and pays more attention to the one constant detail that can be found in each of them.

"[He] has always placed himself as the last person seen with Natalee alive. ... So that is our one continuous thread," Holloway said.

Holloway has also had to deal with a lot of false hopes in her daughter's case. The numerous searches in Aruba all ended without turning up new clues, while other incidents -- such as false sightings and a recent underwater search prompted by a photograph of possible human remains -- have compounded the disappointment.

But rather than dwell on details of the case, which she has no control over, Holloway is focused on her recent partnership with Mayday 360, a company that helps families in crisis, and the launching of the Natalee Holloway Resource Center in Washington, D.C. Those two projects, she said, have helped her redefine her life.

The Natalee Holloway Resource Center website is still under construction; however, its welcome page states that the nonprofit's focus will be on educational programs, safe travel and crime prevention, along with support for families of missing persons.

"The NHRC also provides families of missing persons with an action plan, missing poster templates, contacts, resources and handles press releases and media reach," the website reads.

The resource center, which is scheduled to open June 8, will be located in the National Museum of Crime and Punishment in downtown Washington.

"In creating this organization, we hope to prevent as many missing-person cases as possible," Holloway said.

Holloway said she will also continue to visit high schools and colleges to educate students about the dangers of overseas travel and to remind them of Natalee's story.

So while each year that goes by is difficult, Holloway says the anniversary of her daughter's disappearance is no more significant than any other day she has faced since Natalee disappeared.

"I try not to get too caught up in a specific mark," Holloway said.

Who Murdered Lacey Claire Gaines?

2010-05-06T13:05:00.000-04:00

Lacey Claire Gaines

12/1/1989 - 12/7/2009

Who Murdered Lacey Gaines?

Aunt Cherry | MySpace Video

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reBlog from James L White Jr on April 30, 2010: Tabitha L Franklin We Love her and never will give up trying to find her!

2010-05-06T11:46:00.001-04:00

I found this fascinating quote today:

“I love you, momma,” the seven-year-old scrawled on a sheet of loose leaf paper, written in pencil with occasional misspellings. “We have bin praying for you. We love you and don’t for get us.”James L White Jr on April 30, 2010, Tabitha L Franklin We Love her and never will give up trying to find her!, Aug 2009

You should read the whole article.

Which of these Suspects Murdered Lacey Claire Gaines?

2010-04-15T15:26:00.001-04:00

Lacey Claire Gaines Case: The Suspects Posted on April 13th, 2010 by Valhall

Who stole Conor's Mommy?

Sometime between 3 pm and 7 pm on December 7, 2009, Lacey Claire Gaines was murdered. Since the autopsy has not been released we do not know exactly how she was murdered. An electrical cord was around her neck and she was found with a 4 inch gash across her throat. There was also a small nick reportedly observed on her left shoulder – possibly from the path of the knife as her throat was cut. Lacey’s throat was cut with a knife from her own kitchen. Lacey loved to cook. She is reported to have been found fully clothed with no defensive wounds on her body. Lacey was not small in stature, and she was fiesty. The lack of defensive wounds has led to the suspicion the murderer was some one she knew who possibly engaged her conversation before initiating a blitz attack. There have been rumors her hands were bagged, but that has not been confirmed.

As covered before “Daniel” Sanchez, whose real name is Regelio Sanchez (aka Regelio Alvarado-Sanchez) had abused Lacey in their relationship and continued to threaten and harass her after she left him. In addition to the beating in the parking lot at Lacey’s grandfather’s funeral, an instance previously discussed, Lacey confided in her friends of other abuses. After Conor was born Lacey began to share with her good friend Julien instances of Daniel fighting with her and confided he had strangled her. She also mentioned “scrapes on her neck” in these communications with Julien. (Bear in mind that English is Julien’s second language so for some things we have to take into account loss of accuracy in conveying statements he recalls.) Were these scrapes from being choked? Were they scrapes from a knife? These questions may remain unanswered for all time. Julien had urged Lacey to leave Daniel and go home to her parents, but Lacey told him she and her mother’s relationship was strained at the time.

In addition to Julien being told of the abuse, Lacey’s friend Josh Vinson saw the evidence of abuse himself. Josh recalls several occasions where he would witness bruises and black eyes on Lacey when she visited with him. At one point Lacey even fled to Josh’s house when she had had all she could take. Lacey would eventually go, for a short time, to a shelter and did permanently move out of the relationship with Daniel.

In November 2008, just before their planned Wedding, Daniel pushed Lacey’s head through a wall and strangled her until she passed out. He was allegedly pulled off of her by his brother “Abraham”. Lacey ended the relationship. What is unknown by this writer at this time are the answers to the following questions:

* Were they still living in the house Lacey’s parents have provided for them when this incident occurred?

* If so, when the relationship ended who remained in the house? Did either of them? Was Lacey forced to leave by Daniel or was she successful in forcing Daniel to leave?
Regelio “Daniel” Sanchez is reportedly from Mexico. It is unknown if he is in the country legally but the suspicion is that he is not.

At some unknown date (possibly the end of 2008 or beginning of 2009) Lacey began a relationship with Juan Valadez. In at least one communication Lacey had with a confidant in February 2009 she shared that Juan could testify to “all the times he has seen me beaten up”. This would lead us to believe that Juan and Lacey had known each other for sometime prior to the end of the relationship between Lacey and Daniel.

In February 2009 Lacey had become fearful of her life and Conor’s. Daniel had begun to send threatening text messages. Lacey was now living with Juan Valadez in Chicago. Juan and Lacey filed a report with the Chicago police over the threats. There are allegedly police reports at the Crete, Illinois police department which include phone traps. At some point, either before or after the police report was filed by Lacey and Juan, Daniel stole Lacey’s mail and started making phone calls to contact numbers he found on that mail. Also during this time Lacey shared with a friend that Daniel shot at his ex-wife’s new boyfriend in Hanover Park or Schaumberg.

As previously discussed, in March 2009 is when Daniel filed a petition for parentage. That case remained unresolved at the time of Lacey’s murder in December due to Daniel apparently not appearing for the September 2009 hearing. Some people claim Daniel began to pay child support after this hearing, but that has not been confirmed.

Very little is known about Juan Valadez. Rumors have it that he and Lacey had actually married, but there has been no official document produced substantiating that. As shared earlier, when Lacey last spoke with Julien by phone just 3 days before her murder she stated neither she or Juan were ready to get married, so this would lead one to believe they had not yet done so. However, at the same time, Lacey had begun using the name Lacey Valadez on emails, etc. Juan, like Daniel, is from Mexico and, again, it is unclear if he is in the U.S. legally.

Juan had exhibited jealousy over the short course of their relationship. But there is no evidence he ever got violent or abusive over his jealousy. What little we do know on this comes from Julien. It appears Juan’s primary points of jealousy had to do with the men Lacey had to work around in her two jobs – which Julien states were at an “agency” and in a bar. Apparently, according to Julien, the main point of Juan’s jealousy concerning Lacey’s work at “the agency” was that there were several other Hispanic men working in that “agency” who would flirt with, or otherwise act inappropriately with Lacey.

During Lacey and Juan’s relationship, Lacey shared with her friend Josh that Juan had a “crazy ex-girlfriend”. At least one friend states that Lacey had told of this “crazy ex-girlfriend” calling both her and Juan’s phones repeatedly and them having to get their numbers changed because of it.

Apparently at some unidentified time in the relatinship this ex-girlfriend had “come around”. Not only that but other friends state there was a rumor that when she “came around” it was because she was pregnant…and the implication would be, by Juan. There is even an extremely unsubstantiated rumor that when this whole “ex-girlfriend is pregnant” rumored incident happened, that Lacey may have returned to Daniel for 2 or 3 days – but most of Lacey’s friends reject that rumor stating they just cannot see Lacey ever returning to Daniel.

To clear up what this “agency” was that Julien states Lacey was working for (keeping in mind this word is used by Julien and we get into translation errors) it was the management office of the house of ill-repute apartments Lacey and Juan were living in at the time of her murder – the Sunset Lake Apartments in Justice, Illinois. Lacey had a job as a manager in that office. The “other Hispanic men” who Juan would get very jealous of due to their flirting with Lacey were the maintenance men at the apartments. It should be noted Juan was also working as a maintenance man at the apartments.

The reason this is important to point out is because of the rumor that lives at the Sunset Lake Apartment about who killed Lacey Gaines. That rumor is that it was a maintenance man. And that could be any maintenance man according to at least one review of the Sunset Lake apartments left on an apartment review site:

Or may be this online review:

Bernita – 01/30/10
oh and lets not forget the murder that occured almost 2 months ago. A young lady was killed in her own apartment by the maintenance man……

So who killed Lacey Claire Gaines? Was it Regelio “Daniel” Sanchez? Could it have been him and his brother Abraham? Did Daniel finally decide to get rid of Lacey in order to get some form of custody of Conor? Could this be because Daniel is NOT in this country legally and needs an “anchor baby” to establish a reason to be able to stay?

Was it Juan? Had he become enraged due to jealousy over the situation with the apartment staff? While there had been no reported instances of Juan being abusive – in fact, Lacy described to friends that he loved her and respected her – could he have let his jealousy take him over?

Was it Juan’s “crazy ex-girlfriend”? Was she really pregnant? Had she been stalking and harassing Lacey and Juan attempting to get Juan back and decided to eliminate the woman in her way?

Or was it one of ANY “drug dealing” maintenance men at the apartment? All of whom allegedly have “keys to any apartment”?

We will next visit the situation with the investigation and see if there has been anything of value that could answer these questions.

Valhall.

Related Articles:

http://www.aolnews.com/crime/article/who-killed-lacey-claire-gaines/19403946

http://my.opera.com/LaceyClaireGaines/about/

Dana Pretzer covers the Lacey Claire Gaines Murder

Please join us at Peace4 the Missing
Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
http://peace4missing.ning.com

Here's How To Prevent and Report Online Stalking

2010-04-14T19:54:00.000-04:00

HOW TO: Prevent and Report Online Stalking

The social web is not just a model of our world, but an indelible and growing part of it. People correspond, they do business, and just like in the real world, they have addresses, and mailboxes. And in today’s pervasive and immersive online environment, it’s almost impossible to be completely anonymous.

The web gathers vast amounts of personal information that we willfully share online — our location, interests, purchases, friends, current activities, etc. Anyone tracking this information not only knows what we say, but in what location we say it, and to whom. This adds up to a large dossier of information on nearly every Internet user.

One issue that persists in a web-based world is online stalking (also referred to by some organizations as “cyber stalking”). An online stalker can easily hide behind Internet anonymity, or worse, behind someone else’s identity. Below is a quick guide to understanding online stalking and how to best prevent it from happening to you.

1. Get the Facts

The real key to the prevention of online stalking is remembering that every post you put on a social network could potentially be public. Sophisticated search engines and malicious data-stealing Trojans can find and share any information about you, even on the most trusted and secure social networks. Compromised data could potentially be used by criminals to harass you, harm you personally, or steal your identity.

The best thing to do is to stay informed about the latest threats and which popular sites may have been recently hacked. Some important resources with quality information include:

2. Be Cautious

Whether you want to protect information on your Facebook profile or in your Gmail account, there is security software that can help you do it. For example, you can install software that will warn you if any sensitive words or numbers (like phone numbers, addresses, dates of birth, passwords, etc.) are entered onto a web page. You should also be sure your private and financial data is only entered into websites that have proof of their security from companies like TRUSTe or VeriSign.

Because so much of our day-to-day communication is done on social networks (sharing on Facebook, job hunting on Craigslist), it may not always be clear when we encounter the issue of online stalking. You may think you’re overreacting, but if you’re feeling intimidated or insecure about a situation and you’re not sure what to do, here are some sources that may help you determine if you’re being stalked.

QuitStalkingMe.com
WiredSafety.org
State Cyberstalking Laws
ConnectSafely.org

3. Don’t Respond, Just Report

Cyber911 Emergency

Cyberstalking

Please join us at Peace4 the Missing
Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
http://peace4missing.ning.com

The Unsolved Murder of Lacey Claire Gaines

2010-04-11T19:47:00.000-04:00

Lacey Claire Gaines Case: Lacey’s Short Life

Posted on April 10th, 2010 by Valhall

This is the first in a series of articles in which we will look into the December 7th, 2009 unsolved murder of Lacey Claire Gaines. In this first article I hope to help you get to know Lacey a bit as a person, instead of a faceless, lifeless victim of yet another senseless and brutal murder.

Lacey Claire Gaines was born to Jill and Jeff Gaines of Grand Park, IL on December 1, 1989. She was their youngest child. Being the little sis of older brothers she grew up to have that endearing tom-boyish and outgoing spirit that a girl tends to develop when they spend their early years trying to “keep up with the boys”.

Lacey at 8 years old

Lacey would continue to have that out-going, heart-stealing and effervescent personality through-out her short life. As she grew through adolescence she made many long-term friends who today miss her light, and wonder why it was stolen from their lives so quickly. Those dear friends stretch from Illinois to Paris. When Lacey was in high school her family hosted an exchange student, Cedric Reveillere from France. Cedric stayed with the Gaines family for 1 year. Eventually Lacey was able to take a trip to Paris with a group of friends and she got the opportunity to spend some time with Cedric and his family as well. Lacey was 15 years old when she professed her teenage love for him. Lacey would continue to adore Cedric from afar for another year.

Cedric was not the only friend Lacey made in France. There was also Julien Caherec. Lacey and Julien would remain friends through the rest of her short life. She spoke to him through text messages, online messaging and phone calls through-out the years. Julien even came to America to visit Lacey in 2007. They called each other their best friends, and Lacey referred to Julien as “juju”. Their last phone conversation was December 4th, 2009, only 3 days before her murder. Julien misses Lacey and wants to know who took his friend from this world.

When Lacey was 16 years old she began a sexual relationship with a man 10 years older than her. His name was Regelio “Daniel” Sanchez and he worked in Lacey’s uncle Vic’s restaurant. In March 2007 Lacey became pregnant. She was 17 years old. Daniel did not want to marry her. And it was at this time that Lacey’s life began to change. In reading the brief history of Lacey’s life, it appears that Lacey’s parents did not react favorably to the news their daughter was pregnant. Instead of taking legal action against a man who had obviously had sexual relations with a minor, they chose to declare Lacey emancipated, allegedly due to insurance reasons, and Lacey went to live with Daniel’s family in a small house in Steger, Illinois. Lacey would begin to complain to friends and family members that she felt she was being taken advantage of. Eventually Lacey and Daniel would move into a small rented house they shared with Daniel’s brother Abraham. Lacey shared with confidants that she was sending $300 a month back to Mexico on Daniel’s requests.

There began to be signs to Lacey’s friends and loved ones that Daniel was abusive. She arrived at her grandfather’s funeral, in 2007 while still pregnant, very upset beyond the loss of her grandfather. She would later confide that Daniel had beaten her in the parking lot. Daniel had just been fired from his job by Lacey’s uncle Victor and didn’t want Lacey attending her own grandfather’s funeral because of that. When they arrived at the funeral Daniel became enraged when Lacey hugged Victor’s son, Adam…so Daniel beat her.

On January 3, 2008, just before her 18th birthday, Lacey gave birth to a beautiful little boy, Conor.
In April 2008 Lacey began to speak to Julien in their phone calls about Daniel abusing her. She also confided in another close friend, Josh Vinson, about the abuse. Lacey even fled to Josh’s house at one point, arriving beaten and scared. She told Josh that Daniel was trying to steal her spirit, but she wouldn’t let him. Josh would later tell of seeing Lacey many times with black eyes and bruises.

In May 2008 Lacey’s father bought a house and refurbished it, allowing Daniel and Lacey to move in. Lacey’s parents also gave Daniel a car to drive, and supplied him a phone. In November 2008, after invitations had already been mailed out, Lacey called off her impending marriage to Daniel after he pushed her head through a wall and choked her until she passed out. It is unknown how brutal this particular beating would have been if Daniel’s brother, Abraham, had not been there to pull him off her.

Shortly after Lacey and Daniel’s break up Lacey began a relationship with Juan Valadez. In February 2009 Lacey began to voice fear to others because Daniel was sending her threatening text messages and had stolen her mail. Daniel went so far as to call contacts listed on her bills. It is unknown to this writer what the purpose of contacting these individuals was. A police report was filed and Lacey fled to a shelter. During this period of time Lacey’s friend, Julien, states Lacey had to change her phone number numerous times due to harassment from Daniel. Julien also claims that Lacey had to move “a few times” – also because of Daniel.

In March 2009 Daniel filed a petition for parentage with the court and a court date of May 14th was set. At that time, Lacey confided in Susan Murphy-Milano, an advocate for victims of domestic violence, that Daniel was threatening to take Conor and flee to Mexico. In April 2009 Juan returned from a visit to California and Lacey wrote to confidants that they would marry that summer. At the same time an investigation into Lacey’s filed report against Daniel was taking place and the investigating officer wondered why Lacey’s parents were paying for a phone for her abuser.

On May 14th Lacey appeared in court but the hearing was postponed to September 25th when the court declared Lacey had not been properly served by Daniel. Lacey’s mother and grandmother attended the brief court appearance. They described Lacey as acting “rude”. Lacey would confide in others that she had become frustrated because “no one would take her abuse seriously”.

It is past May 14th that details about Lacey’s life become blurred and confused. Some people have heard that she and Juan had married, but no evidence of that marriage has been produced. Lacey’s communications with her friend, Julien, ceased between June and October of 2009. On September 25th the hearing on Conor’s parentage was schedule, but apparently Daniel did not appear. Lacey’s mother would later state that Daniel began paying child support for Conor, but this has not been confirmed.

On December 1st, 2009 Lacey turned 20 years old. On December 4th she had her last phone conversation with her dear friend Julien. Julien initiated the phone call and they spoke for some time. Lacey told him she was working two jobs: one at an “agency” and another in a bar. She told him Juan was jealous of both jobs for varying reasons. Julien asked her if she and Juan were going to get married and Lacey told him neither of them were interested in doing so at that time. Julien describes the conversation with Lacey as “not the same as before”. He states “…this time she doesn’t seem happy and she had a little voice”.

On Monday, December 7, 2009, Lacey phoned her grandmother and asked if she could babysit Conor. Lacey stated she was not feeling well and had a doctor’s appointment. Lacey’s last communication was at 3:30 p.m. December 7, 2009. Lacey was found, at approximately 7 p.m. that evening, murdered in her apartment. She was reportedly found by Juan. She was discovered with an electrical cord around her neck and a 4-inch gash in her throat. While there have been no official documents released in her autopsy, sources close to the investigation state there were no defensive wounds found on Lacey’s body, and there have even been statements made that her hands were “bagged”.

Lacey’s murder remains unsolved with no suspects in custody or named. Conor, now 2, will live his life not knowing the out-going and loving nature of his own mother.

In coming articles discussing the unsolved murder of Lacey Claire Gaines we will look at what little is known about potential suspects, and about the ebbs and slight flows of the investigation.

Links to Lacey’s Life:
Lacey’s Myspace
Lacey Claire Gaines Memorial website

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Missing Persons Awareness and Support Network
http://peace4missing.ning.com

Don’t blame me, blame my sex addiction

2010-04-04T22:56:00.000-04:00

Once the excuse of philandering celebrities, it now seems more and more of us have got a lust habit and are following the stars into therapy ...

"We’ve seen a 25% increase in six years in the number of people coming to us,” says Don Serratt, founder and chief executive of Life Works, one of the UK’s leading specialists in “curing” sex addiction.

“It’s purely because awareness has increased,” he continues.

“Behaviours haven’t changed in thousands of years — there just wasn’t any help before. We’ve had rock stars who cannot stop acting out on the road. They basically get women thrown at them and they can’t stop. We’ve had people who’ve bankrupted their families because they can’t stop going to prostitutes.

“The US has seen an even bigger rise [in people going to sex rehab] than we have — I would guess in excess of 50% — because people are much more open to getting help there.”

Help for what? Certainly, sex (and love) has been proved to light up the same areas of the brain as cocaine — but can a normal human instinct ever become a true addiction like booze or pills? Which isn’t to deny that there’s a seam of compulsive sexual behaviour that is so awful, it really doesn’t matter what label you give it.

“An addiction is to continue to do anything in spite of negative consequences,” believes Serratt, who has known family men lose everything to cripplingly expensive hooker habits, and nice middle-class ladies engage in outrageous (and often illegal) sex despite the huge risk to their reputation and health.

It’s been estimated by a leading American specialist (and then widely queried) that up to 3% of the population could be sex addicts. But surely there’s a line to be drawn between the man who spends the kids’ university fund on prostitutes and common-or-garden affairs?

Not any more, believes Serratt: “Sandra Bullock’s husband, as a single guy, was probably fine to go to this tattooed woman and do whatever. But because of being married and being high profile, he experiences negative consequences — so to continue to do so is an addiction.

“If you’re in a relationship and you keep having affairs, then you’re a sex addict.”

Couldn’t you just be stuck in an unhappy marriage? “Well,” he says, “then you would get out of your marriage, no?”

Hmm. It’s this grey area — which used to be written off as dumb men listening to their baser instincts — that seems to be confusing us, especially on planet Sleb, where everything tends to be black or white.

James and Woods are not exactly trailblazers in this respect. The comedian Russell Brand, who says he has slept with more than 1,000 women, was treated for his compulsive need to screw around. Likewise David Duchovny, the American actor, who did a stint in therapy when his marriage hit the skids.

Eric Benet, former husband of the actress Halle Berry, suffered the ignominy of being sent to rehab by his mother-in-law after cheating on her daughter — but plaintively objected to being seen as a sex addict.

“In retrospect, it’s not what I would label my situation,” he said afterwards.

“It was presented to me that for the marriage to have a shot, this is what you need to do ... I went and heard other people’s stories and realised this is really not my struggle.”

Could the labelling of every cheating husband as a sex addict merely be the latest manifestation of a trend to pathologise old-fashioned bad behaviour as a disease? After all, both overeating and gambling have been elevated into addictions that are often blamed on genetics or depression.

And what about women — do they ever suffer from so-called sex addiction?

“The reality is that it’s probably about 70% men and 30% women,” says Serratt. Women are more likely to suffer from “love addiction”, he claims, “which can have just as severe consequences”.

Not that he makes a huge distinction between the two conditions: “There’s a saying, ‘Scratch a sex addict and you’ll find a love addict’ — well, scratch a love addict and you’ll find a sex addict.”

Don’t blame me, blame my sex addiction - Times Online

The Mental Health Issues of the Sri Lankan War Widows

2010-03-25T00:48:00.000-04:00

If men were the principle casualties of the War, these widows represent its collateral damage.- Ed Payne: “Collateral Damage

(March 24, Ontario, Sri Lanka Guardian) One harsh reality of the war is that the every soldier killed in war leaves behind grieving relatives. It has been a reality since the Trojan War.

The women who were left widows as a result of the Sri Lankan conflict are facing radically altered circumstances. There are estimated thousands of War widows and war-affected family members from the Tri Forces who still experience grief reactions. Many widows are in the 22 to 35 age group and with the death of their husbands; these women have become a psychologically and socially vulnerable group. Most of the women who underwent severe emotional pain still have not completely recovered. Many have become the victims of pathological grief. They are unable to work through their grief despite the passage of time. With the widowhood, they experience identity change, role adjustment and change in social status.

Sri Lanka Guardian: The Mental Health Issues of the Sri Lankan War Widows